How Do I use a Nianju, or Mala, Properly?

Question: Way back in my Hindu Yoga days, it was explained that one moves the beads in one direction, stops at the head bead, turns the Nienju, and goes in the other direction. It was also explained that the index finger is never used to move from bead-to-bead. Is this all just a matter of tradition and preference, or is there a reason for these rules? Please give me your take on the proper use of Nienju. Thank you.

Response: Okay, first I googled "mala index finger." Although I know that Wikipedia information ranges from good to questionable, the following entry sounds reasonable to someone who doesn't know a lot about how Hindus use malas.

Hindu tradition holds that the correct way to use a mala is with the right hand, with the thumb flicking one bead to the next, and with the mala draped over the middle finger. The index finger represents ego, the greatest impediment to self-realization, so it is considered best avoided when chanting on a mala.

This certainly seems to support what you were told and sounds logical. If anyone knows more about this, please join in the conversation through a comment.

As for how we use a nianju, I usually hold mine in my right hand with the nianju draped over my index finger. I'll switch to the left if I've been chanting for some time. Whether using our right or left hand, we recite “Amituofo” once as we gently move each bead toward us with our thumb. 

Someone once explained to me that we need to move the beads toward us because if we move them away from us, we'll lose the merits from the chanting and won't have them to dedicate to all beings.

Regarding the large "mother bead." In some traditions, people do not "cross" that bead but turn the nianju around and go back the direction they came from. This was often done because the name "Buddha" carved on the bead and moving across it would have been disrespectful. But since our nianju do not have either the word or an image of the Buddha on the mother bead, we do not stop at it but proceed in the one direction.

Affected by Others' Suffering

Question:  I feel very unsettled because I want to feel free and happy but have never been able to be not affected by other people's suffering. Please tell me what I can do.

Response: The very nature of existence in samsara, the cycle of rebirth, is suffering. It's the first of the four noble truths--life entails suffering. Every being in samsara undergoes suffering to some degree. Even in the highest heaven, the beings undergo suffering when their lives there are about to come to an end.
 
So first, we need to accept the existence of suffering and not feel that we are when others are not. Once we understand that it's a part of life, we can stop railing against it and move on to the next three of the noble truths: suffering is caused; it has an end; and the way to its end is self-discipline, concentration, and wisdom.
 
To no longer be affected by other's suffering, we practice non-attachment. For more on this, please read Non-attachment Not Detachment.

Also, to truly help others, we need wisdom, not just compassion. The last entry Compassion Tempered with Wisdom might be helpful on this.

Compassion Tempered with Wisdom

Compassion is the intention and capability to lessen suffering and, ultimately, to transform this suffering. When we adopt an awareness imbued with compassion, we seek to ease others’ pain. But in our wish to help, more often than not, we react emotionally and end up getting carried away by our feelings. At times we empathize so completely with what someone is going through that we subject ourselves to the same distress. So instead of one person suf­fering, there are now two miserable people!

Instead of reacting emotionally, we need to learn to temper our compassion with wisdom. Then we will know how to better help one another. We will also realize that an individual’s circum­stances are the result of past karmas. Therefore, it may well be next to impossible for us to improve another’s situation. This realization does not mean that we should stop caring about others or dismiss their difficulties as being their own fault. It means we understand that our wanting to alleviate their suf­fering may instead be of benefit to them in the future, in ways we cannot foresee.

So be compassionate, but do not focus on getting immediate positive results. Do not get wrapped up in egoistic thoughts, thinking that “I” can fix the problem. Without such expectations, we will not be disappointed or saddened when our attempts to help end in failure or, worse, aggravate the situation. We will not know how best to help if we fail to temper our compassion with wisdom. In other words, the person we want to help may not have the requisite conditions for us to do so.

When we stop focusing on immediate results and instead focus on just helping others, our compassion will ultimately benefit all beings. By planting the seeds of compassion—the wish for all beings to be happy and free of suffering—we can be confident that we have indeed helped others.

If we feel compassion for only certain people, then our compassion is limited, and thus our ability to lessen suffering in the future will likewise be limited. But when our compassion for all beings is equal and unconditional, then our compassion will be immeasurable and impartial. When we accomplish this, we will pervade all directions with awareness imbued with equanimity.

In the Western Pure Land of Amitabha Buddha, there are uncountable bodhisattvas, beings who are dedicated to helping all others end suffering. Widely known in this world and often depicted standing to Amitabha’s left is Avalokitesvara, or Guanyin Bodhisattva. Avalokitesvara is often translated as “Great Compassion Bodhisattva” or “She who hears the cries of the world.”

A very long time ago, Avalokitesvara vowed that if she ever became disheartened in saving sentient beings, may her body shatter into a thousand pieces. Once, after liberating countless beings from the hell realms by teaching them the Dharma, she looked back down into the hell realms. To her horror, she saw that the hell realms were quickly filling up again!

In a fleeting moment of despair, she felt profound grief. And in that moment, in accordance with her vow, her body shattered into a thousand pieces. She beseeched the Buddhas to help and many did. Like a fall of snowflakes they came. One of those Buddhas was Amitabha. He and the other Buddhas helped to re-form her body into one that had a thousand arms and hands, with an eye of wisdom in each hand. In this way, she could better help all sentient beings.

Whether you view this as a true account or a leg­end, there is a very important lesson here that can help us in our practice of compassion. When we first develop the bodhi mind—the mind set on helping all beings attain enlightenment, ourselves included—we will experience times when we are disheartened. At this point, we have two choices: go forward or give up. To go forward, we need to reestablish our confi­dence. We may do this under the guidance of a good teacher, through the support of a good spiritual friend, or through other means. If we do not go forward, we will fall back into ignorance and delusion.

It will help us at these difficult times to remember that we do not grow spiritually in good times, when everything is going our way. We grow spiritually and progress on the path of awakening in times of adver­sity. Just as steel is tempered by fire, our resolve is strengthened by hardship.

Avalokitesvara was shattered in a fleeting moment of despair. But through the strength of her aspiration to help all beings, she touched the hearts of those who had gone before her on the path. Due to her great vow and profound sincerity, she had created the causes for many Buddhas to help her when she was momentarily overwhelmed by the enormity of her chosen task. We too will encounter obstacles. When we do, our aspiration to help all beings will enable us to receive the help we need to move back onto the path.

Due to the depth of her vow to help, Avalokitesvara regarded all beings with equanimity. In the above story, in addition to the hell realms, she also went to the ghost, animal, human, demi-god, and heavenly realms teaching all those who had the affinity to learn from her. Each being was equally important, and so she taught each one as best she could. She did not discriminate and was not judg­mental. She tirelessly and vigilantly listened for cries for help and found the beings who were suffering. She then taught them so they were able to advance on the path to awakening.

With similar equanimity, we too will view every­thing equally and in a balanced way. Often when we try to help others, we act impulsively and erratically, not wisely. We rush in to help one day and then feel like giving up the next. Without a pure, calm mind, we can lose our balance and fall from great enthusiasm to mind-numbing discouragement. Only when our minds are calm will we know how to truly benefit others.

One Step at a Time

Question: As a former Christian, when I chant "Amituofo" feelings of doubt, guilt and fears arise in my mind. While chanting can clear these thoughts away in the moment, my question is...how long should it take for these "bad seeds" to be burned? Will there always be such feelings periodically, or should I expect them to vanish permanently after a time?

Response: Once in Malaysia, we went to climb a small mountain. Some of the climbers even referred to it as "hill." To me it was abundantly clear from my perspective at the bottom that it was a BIG MOUNTAIN and for some unfathomable reason we were climbing up the side that went straight up. (Fortunately, we got there before dawn and I could only see a little way up. Sometimes ignorance truly is bliss.)

But whatever it was--a small mountain, hill, big mountain--we were supposed to climb it.

After years of computer work, I was definitely not in shape to undertake such a climb. But there was no way that I was going to give up and admit defeat. (Probably a combination of perseverance with a healthy dash of ego here. ;-))

Rather than look up and try to see how much further I had to go, I just focused on taking the next step. No more than that. Just the next step. I thus climbed one step at a time. Eventually, I reached the top of the mountain.

It was an invaluable lesson.

Don't try to do the calculations of how long it will take, don't look too far ahead and give in to doubt, just keep taking the next step. Gradually doubts, fears, and worries will recede. And with time, we will reach our goal.

A Hot Coal

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal

with the intent of throwing it at someone else;

you are the one who gets burned

~ Buddha ~