When stung by criticism, 

is it because the comments were unjustified or 

embarrassingly accurate? 

Criticism can hurt.

Unless helpfully offered, either in delivery or by the right person, it’s easy for us to feel offended or even under attack. If not a case of the person sharply censuring us in front of others, why might we feel so taken aback?

Perhaps the critique is unfair, in which case it’s not surprising we’re dismayed. After having taken the time and put forth the effort to complete a task correctly, here is someone claiming we did it incorrectly.

But what if the criticism is valid. If so, we may well act from embarrassment. Embarrassment over having done something badly and not known it. Or, aware what we did was poorly executed, we didn’t know how to fix the mistakes and didn’t ask for help. Or even worse, knowing there were mistakes, we didn’t bother to correct them.

Next time, instead of being hurt, view the critique as an opportunity to cultivate patience and diligence.

If something is going to happen, 

worry will not stop it.

If something is not going to happen, 

worry wastes time and energy. 

Worries arise from fear—fear things will remain the same, fear they will change. For some of us worry becomes a habit, for others learned behavior. And there are those for whom it seem almost physical: a seemingly inherited genetic mutation in their DNA that results in them being hard-wired for worry.

Whatever the underlying reason, worrying is pointless, a waste of time and energy. If through individual or shared karma, we have set events into motion, worrying won’t prevent them from occurring. And if we haven’t set things into motion, they’re not going to happen, so there’s no need to worry.

Worries are wandering thoughts. We stop worrying by eliminating fear. Fear arises because we stubbornly attach to our existence.

Daily learning and practice will help us let go of attachments and contentedly accept what is and will be.

What we can control, we need to.

What we cannot, we need to let go. 

Many things fall within our control, like our opinions, desires, and aversions. Controllable things are those we initiate and carry out. Many more things we have no direct control over, like others’ thoughts and actions, situations in which we find ourselves, or events we learn of.

Things we can control arise from our mind while those we cannot arise from others’ minds.

Theoretically, this should make life very straightforward. Why put time and energy into trying to manage that which is beyond my purview? The only hope I have to accomplish this is through being such an excellent example that I move others. How? By working with that which I can govern: my thoughts. My thoughts, unperceived by others, give rise to my actions, which are perceived by others. So by controlling that which arises from within me, I better myself and possibly help others.

But it all begins with controlling what I can and letting go what I cannot.