Lost opportunities have the power to haunt. 

Some years ago, a woman related something that happened when her daughter was young.

While checking out in a grocery store, she heard the woman at the next register saying she did not have enough money to pay for all her groceries. Planning how she was going to get daughter and groceries to the parked car, the young mother realized—too late—that if she had not been so self-absorbed, she could have offered to help pay for the other woman’s groceries.

Years later, her oversight still haunts her.

That young mother is now a loving grandmother, thoughtful of everyone she encounters. Like all of us, she has regrets. One of them is how years before, failing to notice what was happening in someone else’s life, she missed the opportunity to provide assistance.

How easy it is for each of us to become so preoccupied with our own lives that we fail to notice situations in the lives of others. And so, not paying attention, we miss an opportunity to do good. 

Turn enemies into friends. 

It starts with what we tell ourselves. Out with negative chatter, in with positive self-talk. When next with the person who irritates us, look for something he does that’s kind. Ignore how you feel about him. Just focus on his kind behavior.

That’s your first “turn.” It enables you to react positively to him, which will be imprinted in his store consciousness. If there’s no change in him, try again. Don’t just throw up your hands and quit. Focus on that kindness. At some point, those Kind-reaction Seeds in his consciousness will mature. By planting dozens of seeds instead of only one, your odds for growing flowers improve.

As you’re casting seeds in his consciousness and planting them in your own, remember, all you can control is your own thoughts and emotions. Just as you toss in a few flower seeds into his sadly barren yard when you walk by, in hopes that they will bring him happiness, you should also nurture your own. You’ll grow a beautiful garden.

After seeing it, he may just want one too.

Affinities, and love, can span many lifetimes.

One morning, on a spring day in 2004, I opened my window blinds, sat down at my desk, and glanced out at the lawn and beyond. I saw a tiny bunny, several yards away, hovering over the body of a larger rabbit. Apparently, this rabbit had died in a slight indentation in the lawn. Throughout the day, I saw the young bunny race back and forth across the grass, chasing away a large bird that was trying to get at the dead rabbit. When not chasing the bird, the bunny bit off mouthfuls of the tall grass, returned to the rabbit, and placed the grass over the body. The process took considerable time, for the bunny also had to keep chasing off the bird. It was still trying to fend off the bird when I shut my window blinds that evening. 

On another morning, this one in the spring of 2005, I saw a grown rabbit hop straight to where the other rabbit had been buried. The rabbit rearranged what remained of the still discernible mound of grass and then hopped back the way it had come from around the side of the building. I did not see the rabbit in 2006 or 2007 as I was working in another room.  

Then in 2008, late one Monday night, I returned to the US after two months in Australia. The next day was my first morning in about eighteen months to work at my old spot in front of the window. The thick grass outside the window was due for the weekly cutting. But I could still see the spot where the rabbit had died for the grass had yet to fully cover the “burial mound.” As I watched, I saw a rabbit come around from the side of the building and go straight to the spot. It remained there for a few seconds and hopped a few feet away. Then it went straight back to the spot, rearranged some of the dead grass, paused a few seconds, and returned the way it had come from around the side of the building. 

Affinities span many lifetimes. They do not involve just human beings. And just as humans can be filial children and seek to repay kindness and love, other creatures can as well.