When memories of a loved one arise 

and threaten our peace of mind, 

avoid the snare of sadness. 

Often, when we least expect it, something will trigger a memory of a loved one who is no longer in our lives. Instead of being saddened by feelings of loss, we can appreciate and learn from those memories.

We don’t have to remain caught up in grief, regretting how our time together wasn’t longer or how we wasted so much of the time we had.

We can instead choose to feel gratitude, reminding ourselves how fortunate we were to have had the person in our life as long as we did. Instead of regretting how we have no way of replacing the person, we can realize the wisdom in the teachings—that it was our conditions that helped bring about her presence in our current lifetime. Aware of how conditions are the results of good seeds planted in previous lives, we can be more vigilant of the seeds we plant now. So instead of being grieved by our loss, let it inspire us.

When setting a new routine, 

begin modestly.

Let’s say we’re new to meditation. In our newfound enthusiasm, we decide that we’re going to meditate thirty minutes every day. Our goal set, life quickly intercedes and excuses proliferate. I’m too busy. Or Got to clean this huge mess in the kitchen. Or I’m really tired. I’ll chant tomorrow.

For whatever reason, we don’t meet our newly set goal. But was it reasonable in the first place? Meditating for thirty minutes every day is most admirable. But very often not doable initially.

What if, instead of setting that goal for thirty minutes, you set it for three minutes? Still too busy or tired? “You mean I only have to sit and concentrate for three minutes?” Even a busy or tired person could most likely manage three minutes.

By setting a modest goal, we have a much better chance of meeting it and feeling good. Plus, there’s an additional benefit. After chanting for three minutes, we may continue for a few more. But even if we don’t, we get to feel good at having accomplished our goal.