Helping Spontaneously

 

In Buddhism, we often talk about giving as one of the practices of bodhisattvas. People sometimes ask me what about those who are unable to give possessions because they themselves don't have much. What can they do if there is nothing extra to give to others?

Not having excess material resources does not preclude us from giving, for we can also give of our abilities and time. All forms of giving allow us to counteract our craving—this is just another way to do so. How many times has somebody asked for our help? And how many times have we excused ourselves by saying that we were very tired; when in reality, we just wanted to stay home and relax.

And what if we had helped? How many of us have thought “I wonder how soon I can leave. There is so much to do. When I go home, I’m going to be exhausted. I wish I had stayed home.”

This is a form of greed. This is thinking that our comfort is more important than that of others. To counteract this greed, we can practice generosity. We all probably know excellent examples of people who do this, people whom we admire and whom we wish we were like. Upon being asked for help or just seeing that somebody needs assistance, these people automatically help the other person. It just seems so natural for them to do so.

When we spend some time to think about it, we will realize this kind person was probably even more tired than we were, but was able to do so much more than we did, or wanted to, and seemingly without getting tired or disgruntled. They looked happy doing exactly what they were doing, which was helping someone else. This is genuine generosity.

We, too, will be overcoming our greed when we can help others spontaneously. If we persevere, the day will arrive when we will be able to help people without waiting to be asked, when we will just do so without any prompting. This practice takes time to develop, but, gradually we will improve.

Selflessness

Everywhere we turn it seems that we are told, directly or subtly, that we need to put ourselves first, to indulge our desires, and to compete at all costs. Rarely, it seems, are we advised to put others’ needs and wishes ahead of our own. If, however, we are able to look within, we will see that only through selflessness—looking outward by thinking of others—will we find ourselves. Losing ourselves in thoughts of ourselves, we lose. Only when we lose ourselves in thoughts of others will we truly benefit.

All is Vanity

In a long time past, in a certain country at the foot of the Himalayas, there dwelled a rare species of monkeys. Their blood, of a deep translucent red, was highly prized as a dye, for it would neither fade nor streak. The monkeys were therefore sought after by cloth merchants, as well as by kings and princes.

The monkeys themselves were clever and savvy—adept at escaping all the traps and nets set out for them. However, they had two weaknesses: they loved rice wine and they enjoyed parading themselves in fancy shoes.

One day, a group of hunters, having discovered the monkeys' whereabouts, set up several huge kegs of wine on a hill and let the wind carry the bouquet afar. They also scattered hundreds of brightly colored wooden clogs near the barrels before hiding themselves in the surrounding bushes.

Sure enough, the monkeys, attracted by the aroma of the wine, approached the hillside. Furtively looking over their shoulders and surveying the area with their piercing eyes, they told one another: "This is bound to be a trap set by the men in the village below. You know how wicked and cruel they are. If we were to taste the wine, we would be caught and killed for our blood. Let's get out of here."

So they began to run towards the forest, to the safety of the tall, leafy trees and the dense underbrush. However, as the pack was running for cover, a few monkeys let their eyes dart back to the wine kegs. Finally, several returned to the hill they had just left, telling themselves: "It is very dangerous to be exposed this way, we'd better just try a few drops of wine and then leave—remember, just a few drops! Otherwise, we will be captured and skinned alive...!"

They then furtively dipped half of one finger into the kegs and tasted the wine. Soon afterward, they inserted a whole finger and ... a whole hand. Poor monkeys, earlier, they could not resist the mere smell of the wine, how could they now resist its taste? After watching from a safe distance, the rest of the pack soon came swarming around the kegs. They drank and drank and drank some more, all of their caution and reluctance by now long forgotten. They then discovered the gorgeous clogs, their favorite attire ...

Observing all this from the bushes, the hunters waited patiently for the wine to take effect. They then emerged from hiding and surrounded the whole pack. There was no possible escape for the poor monkeys, who were not only drunk but also weighed down by heavy wooden clogs!

We humans are no different from the monkeys. We, too, know of the dangers of the five desires. Yet, while we may resist them for a while—at certain times—few of us can do so at all times. This is the rationale for seeking rebirth in the Pure Land, an ideal environment, free of temptation, free of suffering:

“In an infinite time in the past, Bhiksu Dharmakara [the future Buddha Amitabha] observed the misery of all sentient beings, and moved by compassion, vowed to establish a pure and perfect land where all could be liberated ...”

~ Thus Have I Heard , Trans. Sutra Translation Committee

Choose Habits Carefully

Some years ago, I was told about a woman who had been very ill and periodically needed to be hospitalized and the friends who visited her. It seemed that when they all went shopping together, this woman would habitually say that she had forgotten her money and would ask to borrow some from the others. Then she would forget to repay what she had borrowed. The friends were understandably concerned about this.

When she would have to go to the hospital, the friends would visit her and talk to her about trying to be a kinder, more forgiving and honest person, but she would explain that she did not have the energy right then and would do so when she returned home. When they then visited her at home and spoke to her again, she would say that she was healthier now and would get around to such things later.

One day, when the woman was again in the hospital, one of the friends visited her. As she was lying there, the woman began to tell her visitor about a time when she had loaned another person some money and jewelry. As she was angrily complaining that this person had failed to return the jewelry, the woman suddenly died.

The friend, who had been with her, told us that the woman’s face was contorted with anger when she died. And within thirty minutes, her face turned dark gray.

When this woman died, she was not thinking of the kindness of the friend who had come to visit her or of the hospital staff who were trying to help her. She was not thinking of any of that. She was thinking of her missing jewelry and she was very angry. She had not expected to die at that moment. She was simply reacting from habit.

Since our thoughts, which so often arise from habit, create our futures and lead us to our next rebirth, it logically follows that our dying thoughts lead us to our next lifetime. 

Aware of the potential seriousness of the form our habits take, we need to be careful of what habits we develop. 

The Giving of Teaching

One of the ways we can give to others is by teaching. We may not have many things to give. But many people are good at doing things that others are not, or may know things that others do not know. We can impart to others whatever skills and knowledge we have. We do not need to have exceptional skills or special knowledge. We just teach others who wish to learn, so that they too will acquire those skills or understanding.

When we see someone who is in need, perhaps, of food or other basic necessities, we can first give them what they need to meet their immediate needs, but then we can go a step further by finding ways to teach them what they need to know to become self sufficient. This way they, too, can care for those they love and are responsible for.

In our teaching, however, we should not withhold any information, but continue teaching all that we know, as long as the person wishes to learn. If, due to our selfishness, we decide to not teach the other person to the best of our ability by sharing all that we know, or perhaps due to self-interest, we decide that we have done enough and that the other person can figure out the rest himself, then we are not sincerely teaching. Sincerity is the key. We may not know a lot, but as long as we know something that others do not, then we should openly and honestly share our skills and knowledge with them.

Even if we do not have possessions or knowledge to give, we can still be kind. We can still be respectful to others. We can still be considerate of all beings around us. We can help others to feel safe around us.