Should We Just Put Up With It?

Question: How come all the books on Buddhism speak a lot about suffering? It seems like Buddhism is made to make us not be happy, and to just put up with it!

Response: The Buddha spoke about suffering because he wanted us to understand our problem. Before we can fix a problem, we need to know what it is.

Think of the Buddha as a doctor who you see because you know something is wrong, but you’re not sure what it is. The doctor says your illness is suffering and that he has a way to end it. But he knows that if you don’t accept the diagnosis, you won’t take the prescription so he tries very hard to help you understand the cause of your illness.

The Buddha diagnosed our problem as suffering and then proceeded to say what caused it. He then recommended how to end our suffering. When we do this, we will find lasting happiness. Unfortunately, we don’t yet understand what genuine, lasting happiness is. We think it’s having a lot of money or being famous.

After we practice for some time and learn about the teachings, we will begin to find some of this real happiness as we begin to let go of the desires for wealth, fame, sleep, food, etc. So no, we don’t “put up with” our suffering, we work very hard to end it. For ourselves and for others.

40 steps on the personal path to green

No Impact Man has done a great short list on how to live in a more environmentally-friendly manner.  His top forty list is below. For the more detailed list click here.

A few weeks ago, I asked readers, "If a friend decided they wanted to do something about the environment, how would you tell him or her to start?"

So just in case you or a friend wants to start, here are 50 of the answers, in no particular order and boiled down to their essence. You can read the full versions here and follow the included links for further explanation (and thanks so much to all who contributed):

1. Don't buy food that comes in plastic or paper packaging.
2. Read the heartbreaking article "Plastic Ocean".
3. Buy fewer things. Don´t buy on impulse. Ask yourself if the thing you're buying is something that you really need.
4. Understand the impact of the products that you buy on the environment, from resource extraction through to disposal (watching The Story of Stuff will help).
5. Eat less meat (read here to understand why).
6. Getting your fingers dirty by growing your own food--even if it is just some basil on your windowsill--is the quickest way change your thought patterns about other green issues.
7. Stopped using my dryer and use a clothes line or drying rack--and enjoy saving the cash.
8. Drive less.
9. Fly less.
10. Organize your community to lobby state and local officials to pass a suite of laws increasing energy efficiency, clean-tech funding, and public education campaigns.
11. Walk more, and walk *to* places. Ideally, walk to the grocery store.
12. Start buying food and household products that are only made of things they can pronounce.
13. Make your own non-toxic household cleaning products.
14. Collect all of your trash each day and so you can see how much you produce.
15. Start with one or two things (take the bus one day a week, use cloth bags, etc) and make it a habit. Then move on to another and another.
16. Stop using your car for journeys of less than 2 miles--walk or bike.
17. Try to go a month without making any purchases other than food and energy.
18. An easy quick tip: stop using papertowels and paper napkins. Keep cloth towels on hand for cleaning and cloth napkins for mealtime (read why getting away from paper products is important here).
19. Find a "green" mentor. Someone whose actions and philosophy you admire. Have them recommend reading, start discussions, teach practices, and lend support. Doing this together is the best part!
20. THINK about how running the tap wastes water. THINK about how lights on in rooms not occupied wastes energy.
21. Avoid bottled water (read why here and here).
22. Join Freecycle, where you can give away what you don't need and get second-hand stuff for free.
23. Go to a good carbon footprint calculator [there's two more on the sidebar] so you can learn in what areas of your life you are using energy and carbon needlessly.
24. Don't waste.
25. Be mindful of how your actions affect others. Everything else stems from mindfulness.
26. Make a contribution of time or money to a green organization.
27. Tithe.
28. Recognize that happiness in life is related to relationships with other people, not shopping.
29. Reach within to determine what inside yourself doesn't feel right, what isn't working for you and start making changes from there.
30. Pray.
31. When the activity is fun, good for the environment, and also affects personal health (physically and also psychologically), it's much easier to maintain. So if you like biking, bike. If you like cooking, cook local.
32. Never use your car for a trip of less than two miles. Walk or bike. Notice the benefits to your physical fitness.
33. Swear off plastic bags.
34. Spend more time in nature, taking a class or reading about the environmentalist movement, whatever will make an impact deeper than the desire to be trendy in an era of greenwashing.
35. Skip sodas, juices, things that come in bottles and cans--for a week.
36. Bring your own mug to the cafe and carry your own water container (read about the ultra-cool reusable water bottle and coffee cup here and here).
37. Make a detailed budget and track spending habits (if you realize exactly how much your car costs you, you may choose a bike).
38. Switch to CFL lightbulbs, turn down your thermostat, and put a blanket on your water heater. 
39. Stop your junk mail.
40. Join grassroots efforts to push the government to pass legislation that moves us quickly off fossil fuels and nuclear energy.

So Where was the Happiness?

Today I went to Brisbane with two other nuns and a layman to see a traditional Chinese doctor. He looked at my eyes and checked the pulse in both my wrists, two of the ways to find out what is not functioning properly in someone. He then asked me what was wrong and when I started to talk, he knew! He drew his chair close and spoke with me a bit more and then began his diagnosis.

He said it in Chinese, so since I speak very little of that elusive (to me) language, I'm not sure exactly what the diagnosis is. But he did make sure I understood it had to do with my throat, gallbladder, lungs, tiredness, and a sore back. (Also a sore arm, which I had already diagnosed as too much time on my computer because I'm spending far less time speaking. ;-)) But my lack of understanding was no real problem because my two brothers (fellow nuns) and Mr. Wang understood.

Dr. Chang showed me some things to do and worked on me a bit (a mixture of western and Chinese methods of treatment ), gave me some Chinese medicine for my throat, lungs, and bones. (Oh, osteoporosis was another problem. Since the world seems taller than it was ten years ago, I was glad for some help in this area as well!)

Next, Dr. Chang carefully checked my three travel companions and treated them as well and gave two some medicine and the third some medicine for my other brothers. Then a nun asked the doctor many questions and explained to me that she was trying to learn from him. She apologized for taking so long, but it was fine with me because when the conversation goes all Chinese, I just start silently chanting "Amituofo, Amituofo,..." Plus everyone was so enthusiastic and laughing so much, it was contagious. So I laughed when others did just for the sheer joy of it.

When we left, we went down the hill to a shopping center to have lunch. As we were eating, the conversation shifted into Chinese, which I half listened to (never know when I'll hear something I know) and half chanted to. Then I began to watch the people around me.

What a contrast!

Previously, we had seen a doctor and my companions had been learning how to help other people. We had been enjoying each others company, looking after one another, and laughing a lot.

But in the mall with all its fancy shops and different places to eat, most people were walking by, not smiling or making eye contact with others, and occasionally talking on their cell phones. I did notice a mother laughing with her child and a young woman laughing along with the elderly, blind woman who was holding her arm. But otherwise, there wasn't the happiness I had seen in the morning or the smiling at strangers that I had so often noticed in Elkhart, Indiana as well as in Nanango and Kingaroy, small towns here in Australia.

We were in the "big city" and people were busier. Or was it more distant and impersonal? Or could it be higher expectations and deeper disappointment? I thought of my mother, who wherever she went smiled at people. It was infectious and people would always smile back. Often a conversation would start. (Very frustrating to me as a teenager. Once on the way home I asked her to pleeeease not talk to anyone in the supermarket. When she took a suspiciously long time to return to the car in relation to the small bag of groceries in her hand. I asked her if she had put on a sign saying "Please talk to me! I promised my daughter I wouldn't start any conversations!!")

But here, nothing like this happened. A woman sat mindlessly eating her lunch (if it was anything like our vegetarian grill it was delicious, but there was no sign she was even aware of her food) while she thumbed through some catalogs. A blank-faced man walked by with a Bluetooth cell phone headset in his ear and a couple not talking to each other walked by carrying their purchases.

Here in a beautiful mall, with many shops and eateries, with people shopping, spending money, and eating at a very nice restaurant—doing what we are told will make us happy—these people were not happy. Perhaps at some level they sensed the emptiness of searching for happiness in possessions and self-indulgence. No happiness here.

Where was it? In the laughter between friends, in the eyes of a mother with her young child, on the face of a young woman sharing laughter with someone who had a good reason to be unhappy, but who apparently chose not to.

The happiness I saw was not from self-indulgence, it came from friendship and from caring for others.

Surely It's Too Small to Matter!

As Buddhists we understand that intention is very important, as is doing what is right regardless of what others think of or say to us. Nothing is too small to matter.

It's all important. We cannot fall into the habit of thinking that a small action doesn't count. That we can do what we please and only try to do the right thing when it's something major. That our small action won't really change anything so there's no point in trying to do what is right. That we're too tired or there's not enough time or it's too difficult or people will think we're a goody-goody or make fun of us.

If we're really honest with ourselves, we'll see these are just excuses.

And it's easier to give ourselves excuses than it is to make an effort when the immediate return seems so small.

So it's back to remembering that nothing is too small to matter. Even if our actions result in such a small goodness that it is unperceivable, it’s still worth doing.

Because it’s the right thing to do.

Laziness and a Nap, a Book, and the Sky

Question: What do you do when someone is watching you and expecting you to behave better? If you know you are being watched and choose to be ordinary instead of excellent, is that held against you? For example, being a very relaxed person might be considered lazy and in some situations it would probably be laziness not to do something today and leave it for tomorrow. Being lazy with one's own things verses being lazy with other people's things. How much does being lazy or being an extremely relaxed person get you in trouble? I look at a friend of mine and he is always wired to do something. Whereas that button was not installed when I was made. I look for that button to push that says "okay let’s do this now" and there is silence. So I go for another nap or another book to read. Or better yet let’s sit under the blue sky for a few hours and watch the clouds go by.

Where is the question? Does laziness get you in trouble with anybody else but yourself?

Response: Laziness gets us in trouble with both others and us.

At the everyday level, laziness gets us into trouble with others because we didn’t do what they were hoping we would, what we told them we would, or what everyone knew we should. So we disappointed others or frustrated them. Bottom line: whether a family member, a friend, or a co-worker, our being lazy made things more difficult for them.

From the Buddhist perspective, our laziness can serve as a cause for others to have wandering or negative thoughts. True, others have a choice in how they react to our laziness. But because we are the trigger that leads to their reaction, we have a karmic connection and will undergo certain karmic consequences.

At the everyday level, laziness gets us into trouble with ourselves because we didn’t do what we knew we should. So we feel guilty or irritated or anxious. Or we question what it is doing to us.

From the Buddhist perspective, laziness again gets us into trouble, this time because instead of doing what we should to progress toward awakening, we’re wasting time in wandering thoughts and pointless activities. Here we are, in one of those unbelievably rare lifetimes when we encounter the Dharma and have all the right conditions to be able to practice, and what do we do with this rare and wondrous opportunity?

We take a nap. We read a book. We stare at the sky.

We tell ourselves we have plenty of time. We tell ourselves that we’ll chant later this afternoon. We tell ourselves we’ll listen to that Dharma talk sometime tomorrow. We do what is easy, not what is wise. We give ourselves excuses. We’re lazy.

And we do ourselves an unimaginable disservice as we fail to take advantage of this rarest of opportunities.

So with others and ourselves, in matters small and large, laziness gets us into unimaginable trouble and does us great harm.