More Stubborn than the Proverbial Mule

As humans, we are so stubborn!

We put off doing something even though we know we always feel good doing it. Then, when we find ourselves having to do that something, having to do what we know is right, we again feel good. Just like we had remembered from before! While doing what was right, we felt like this was exactly where we were supposed to be, and we were doing exactly what we were supposed to be doing.

While engrossed in our activity, and for some time afterwards, we feel so happy for we did was truly important.

But what happens the next time we are supposed to do that activity? We hesitate! We look for excuses. We procrastinate until it is too late and the day is over.

As I said, we humans are very stubborn.

We find it so difficult to break our bad habits because it is so much easier not to do so. But break them we must.

Simple, But Not Easy

We do not need to wait for the big challenges in life to to work on developing our virtue. We can work at increasing virtue in small, everyday ways. We can practice moderation in eating just what we need to be healthy and in sleeping just enough to be rested. We can work on our patience while waiting in line at the post office and on our impartiality when two children are each telling us their version of how the glass was broken.

Gradually, we will become more adept at our practice and as we encounter life's more difficult challenges, we will be better skilled at reacting wisely and calmly.

I realize this sounds very simple and obvious, but unfortunately, even small acts of virtue require much effort on our part to accomplish them perfectly. So while this may sound simplistic and repetitive, the question we need to ask ourselves is "Am I doing this one-hundred percent of my time with one-hundred percent of my effort?"

If not, we still have room for improvement.

Remember to Remember

When things are going well,

be mindful of adversity.

When prosperous,

be mindful of poverty.

When loved,

be mindful of thoughtfulness.

When respected,

be mindful of humility.

The Luck of the Caregiver

  

 

Being a caregiver can be exhausting and frustrating. The hours are long and the work often lonely. Caregivers lose their freedom and can feel trapped by circumstances they no longer control. The patient may well have a condition from which he or she will not recover, so the caregiver often has to handle growing feelings of loss and the resultant grief. And fear.

A caregiver—even one who starts out with love and enthusiasm—can quickly feel overwhelmed, saddened, and powerless.

But even in this most difficult situation, there can be joy and gratitude.

How often have we heard someone say after the death of a parent, “I thought I had more time.” Thinking there would be enough time in the future, the person didn’t get around to visiting or even to call very often. They had other commitments. They were busy at work or at home. They had things they had looked forward to doing. And after all, there was enough time.

And then suddenly one day, it was too late. There was no more time.

There was no more time to go over photos together and hear the family stories again. No time for visits on a cold winter night with a cup of tea and “Remember when...?” No chance to look into the loved one’s eyes and say thank you, and for them to smile and say "thank you" back. No more time for joy and gratitude.

Too much time for regret.

But the caregiver?

The caregiver has so much time! So many ways to say thank you. So much time to share a cup of tea. So many opportunities to hug a parent or a spouse and say, "I want to do this" and "I’m not going to leave you." So many ways to say without words, “Don’t be afraid, I’m here.” So much time for the unexpected silliness and shared laughter. So many wonderful memories.

And little need for regret.

The Right Thing

"In the face of war, social injustice, religious conflict, corporate greed, what difference can one person make? Why should one person even try to make a difference? The odds are so overwhelming. It's pointless."

Frankly, that doesn't matter. We do what is right simply because that is what it is—right.

I don't strike another person because I think that action will lead to the end of violence, but because not hitting another person is the right thing to do. I don't refrain from lying to my spouse because I think my actions will convince everyone to be honest, but because being truthful in any relationship is the right way to behave. I don't cheat a customer because I know he'll never find out and I get tired of having to work with all these foreigners, but because treating all people equally and with respect is the right way to interact with others.

And I refrain from wrongdoing, because even if no one finds out the harm I have done, even if my wrong actions have absolutely no effect on others or the world, what I might have done was simply wrong.