"Long-lost Friends"

Each of us has had the experience of meeting someone and instantly being drawn to them as if we knew them, as if they were an old friend. This an affinity, a connection to the person that spans uncountable lifetimes. It is possible because we carry the fond memory of them in our most subtle consciousness. They do the same.

When old friends meet again, that deep memory is awakened and it is as if time had never passed...

Things are Often Not What They Seem

Older siblings should befriend the younger ones;

younger siblings should respect and love the older ones.

Siblings getting along well with one another

is a sign of filial piety,

of respecting parents and caring that they are happy.

Jason’s big brother, Patrick, had just received permission to go hiking with his friends on Lookout Mountain. When Jason heard he got all excited and wanted to go along with them. “Patrick, can I please come with you? Please, please, pleeease?”

Patrick looked down and said in his big brother voice, “No Jason, not up the mountain. This trail is much tougher than you’re used to. There’s more climbing on this one.”

Jason was hurt. He admired his brother and liked to do things with him. But lately, Patrick has been spending time with his friends, Alec and Heng. Jason was afraid Patrick was beginning to prefer his new friends to him. “You just don’t want me along!” he sputtered.

Patrick looked at Jason then at Alec and Heng who were close by waiting for him. They had quite a ways to go and needed to get going. He explained, “Jason there are some things you do with your friends, and some things I do with mine. This hike is one of them. Plus, it’s too dangerous for you. I have to go with the guys now. See you later.”

Jason became even more upset. And embarrassed! His older brother, in front of his friends, had just told him he wasn’t good enough to go on the hike! But Patrick and his friends were only a few years older. How could it be okay for them, but dangerous for Jason?

Dejected, Jason watched the three go off. Watching them walk down the road laughing together, he wondered if they were laughing at him. Then he had an idea. He’d follow them and when they turned around to come back, he’d pop out from behind a tree or a rock and surprise them. Then they’d see he was good enough to go along wherever they went.

Jason hurried to follow them. The walking wasn’t hard at all. He’s been on the path before with Patrick and knew the way well. Then he saw them take a trail near the big rock. So this is where they were going. This was so great!

He could follow them easily. There was nothing dangerous about this trail! After several minutes, he saw a stream with a fallen tree trunk going from bank to bank. He ran across it. Now he was feeling really confident. He could hear Patrick and the others ahead of him so he knew he was keeping up.

He went around a bend and saw a stone ledge up ahead. It was steeper than any he had climbed before, but he was sure he could do it. He began to climb and realized it was actually trickier than it looked. There were loose stones all along the way. Jason put his hand up to hold onto the ledge and had to stretch out to put his foot onto the next outcropping. But some of the stones were loose and they shifted under him. He couldn’t hold on. As he fell he cried out. Luckily, he landed on some low bushes and they cushioned his fall. But he felt a sharp pain. It was his foot.

Then he heard a voice, “Jason is that you? Are you okay?” It was Patrick calling down to him.

Jason, feeling a bit breathless and in pain, managed to get out “I’m okay.”

Patrick quickly climbed down to him. Alec and Heng were right behind him. Patrick checked Jason’s arm and legs, but when he touched Jason’s foot, Jason gave a very loud, “Ow!”

“It doesn’t look broken, but you probably twisted it. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” Relieved that it was nothing serious, Patrick relaxed and with that angrily demanded, “Why did you follow us? I told you not to. What were you thinking? ”

Jason didn’t know what hurt the most: the pain, his embarrassment, or Patrick yelling at him. “I wanted to come with you! I thought you said it was too dangerous only because you didn’t want me around!” He tried to get up and the pain got much worse. “Ow! Patrick, I can’t walk!”

Patrick got over his anger as quickly as it had arisen. Actually, he was just worried that something terrible had happened to his brother. “It’s okay Jason, I’ll carry you home.” He turned to his friends and told them to go on without him. But they said they would come back with the two brothers. It was enough excitement for one day.

Alec said, “Take it from someone with an older brother, Jason. It’s hard to tell sometimes, but they’re usually looking out for us. And most of the time they know what they’re talking about. But, it can be really frustrating at times.” And with that he winked at Jason.

With Jason piggyback, Patrick started back down the trail. Jason looked at their house way in the distance and gulped. “Wow, it’s so far.”

Patrick said, “Don’t worry. We’ll make it just fine. The two of us together.”

With respect and love,

siblings can become our best friends.

Letting Go of Anger

We often hear that anger left unchecked will continue to grow regardless of time. With each new lifetime in which we meet, we will intuitively "recognize" each other. We have all experienced this when we have met someone we just didn't like, or may even feel hatred for. This is an enmity that has been allowed to grow over past encounters. We know that if it not stopped somehow, it will continue to get worse with every future encounter.

So how do we stop it from getting worse?

We "let go." We let go of the wish to argue. We let go of the desire to prove we are right. We let go of the judging, condescending, anger, and hatred. If this person wants to argue, we let them and do not argue back. If the person wants to prove how right he or she is and how wrong we are, we let go of the desire to prove otherwise. And yes, ultimately, if the person wants to kill us, we let them and we let go hatred and retaliatory thoughts.

How on earth can we do this?

Start with the small things first. The ultimate example above is for high level practitioners. Most of us aren't anywhere near there yet.

So we start with something manageable. For example, the person at work or somewhere we frequent often who always manages to upset us. The next time the possibility of an argument arises don’t argue. (And remember that most of the things we argue about are not really that important.) Don't get pulled in by force of habit. Let go of negative thoughts about the person. Keep telling yourself this is a karmic relationship. The person has come to collect a karmic debt you owe.

Your goal is to repay it and not enable it to increase. Increasing it is what has prolonged it over time. For example, we became angry with the person and yelled at her in a past lifetime. But we overdid it. We didn’t know we had because we can’t see the past. In our overdoing, we added to the karmic debt we owe them. Think of it as the principle and we just added some interest to it. Now, when we can understand what is happening, we need to whittle down those karmic debts and hopefully completely repay them.

How?

By not arguing. As they give us a hard time and we do not fight back, we are repaying our debt. By arguing we would make things worse. But with our not fighting back, the other person will gradually feel a sense of satisfaction that they are winning the argument with us. This will in time reduce their wish for further retaliation. If we are sincere enough in this process, we may even touch them with our attempt to not make things worse than they are. This holds the possibility of their letting go of their own anger sooner.

How do we not argue?

With patience. We are patient in the face of adversity. We understand the person arguing with us is providing us with an opportunity to perfect our patience—a practice of bodhisattvas. With patience, our mind remains calm and we are not disturbed. As we repay our debt to them through patience, we elevate our level of practice. So as difficult as it may seem, we should be grateful to this person for helping us improve.

How high can this practice go?

In the Buddha’s last lifetime, before he was born in our world 2600 years ago, he was brutally and unjustifiably murdered. But he perfected his patience and never felt anger or and even the merest negative thought. Indeed, as the Buddha was dying, he vowed that the man who ordered his death would be his, the Buddha's, first student after enlightenment. And in thus perfecting his patience, the bodhisattva destined himself to become a Buddha in his next lifetime.

So the next time you feel anger begin to arise, check it and resume your practice of patience. Let go of the anger and come just one tiny step closer to living the perfection of a Buddha.

Up the Mountain

Attaining the final goal in Buddhism—Buddhahood—takes a very long time. I'm not talking years here, I'm talking about lifetimes, more lifetimes than you and I can count. Together. For people used to a quick fix and quarterly results, this can easily seem overwhelming. But maybe the following will help a bit.

Imagine the perfect, complete enlightenment of Buddhahood as the top of a mountain that is so far above you that you cannot even see it. But people have come down the mountain and assured you that the mountain does have a top and, yes, you will get there if you keep climbing.

So you climb a few steps, then slip on some pebbles and fall back to even lower than you were before you slipped. Then you climb a few more steps and find a resting place. Starting up again, you come to an outcropping of rock and for the life of you; you cannot figure how to get around it. No matter what you try, it doesn't work. And as you get frustrated, you start slipping back on those darn pebbles again and even on a few rocks. It feels very tempting to just give up and either build a hut where you are to stay in or to just go back down the mountain. After all life was much easier down there.

But if you stop staring at the mountain and glance around, you will see that you are a little higher than you originally were. The air is a little less polluted, you can see farther, and the sky is a little bluer. You can breathe more easily.

You can also look down the mountain and see other climbers below struggling to just reach the point you're at. By not thinking solely of your own climb, you can call down to them with some encouraging words. And as you do this, you realize that there are others above you on the mountain who are doing the same for you: calling down words of encouragement and helpful hints for the climb.

You then realize, you're not the only one on the mountain. Helping others, you feel good. Being helped, you feel more assured about what lies ahead of you.

By stopping to look around instead of being focused on your own climb and being oblivious to everything else, you will feel better about the progress you have made so far. You still can't see the top and it's clear you have a very long way to go, but things have gotten better than they were. You have indeed made progress.

Taking the time to realize this and breathing deeply, you smile. Feeling renewed, you turn back to the mountain and resume your climb, with more energy and confidence than you had before.

Why Crows Only Say “Caw! Caw!”

 Before an elder, do not speak loudly.

But if your voice is too low and hard to hear,

you are being improper.

A very long time ago, all birds were silent. They didn’t know why this was so, just that it had always been that way. They were very sad about this because all the other animals could talk. Only the birds were mute.

Then one day, an amazing bird appeared. He looked like two birds joined together! But that was not what really amazed the other birds. As they all clustered around to look on in awe, he began to talk! And what he said astounded them even more.

He told them he had come at the order of the Sound Giver. It was the Sound Giver’s job to decide what would be the best sound for each animal. Once decided this sound would belong to that animal and no other. Much to the distress of the Sound Giver, she just learned she had never given the birds their sounds! She was coming now to correct her terrible mistake.

With that the Sound Giver came into the clearing. She was a little girl! She apologized to all the birds for her terrible oversight. She told them she would do something she had never done before to make up for their being silent so long. If they did not like the sound she gave them, they were allowed to exchange it.

As the Sound Giver looked around, she saw a little finch hopping up and down with excitement. The Sound Giver smiled and the finch started chirping! All the birds were thrilled and quickly lined up to receive their very own sounds.

The Sound Giver began to carefully work her way through the line. Some birds liked the sound she gave them while others asked for another. She gave many birds a few sounds, others she taught to sing. She patiently worked with each one until it was happy.

Then it was time for the crow. He marched up to the Sound Giver and glared at her. The Sound Giver gave him a single “Caw” to see how it sounded. The crow repeated it loudly. Then more loudly. Then even more loudly! The Sound Giver winced, put her hands over her ears, and asked the crow to please speak more softly. But the noisy bird crowed even louder and demanded he be given more sounds. He was so loud that the Sound Giver shook her head and said “No.”

The crow said “Caw, caw!” as if demanding “Why not?”

The Sound Giver calmly looked the crow in the eye. “You are loud and rude. Because of this I will only give you one sound. Other birds will be welcome and their calls will delight all those who hear them. But you will not be welcome. People will cringe at your call and shoo you away because you are so loud.”

And this is why even today, the only sound a crow can make is “Caw! Caw!”