From a Reader: Observation - Folks are Funny

Amituofo. I'm amazed at the dynamics that arise among people in various groups, be they families, groups of friends, political groups, social groups, religious groups, etc., It seems the human tendency to consider oneself wholly correct and others less so, in varying degrees, can cause strife even among cultivators. Further, if a group largely professes one viewpoint, a few dissenting voices are looked at with disfavor, perhaps hostility. Are you an American or a foreigner, a Republican or Democrat or Independent,man or woman, straight, gay or bi, vegetarian or eater of three-pure-meat,Mahayana or Theravada, Pure Land, oh great-what sect-Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese -Jodo Shu or Jodo Shinshu?

It seems the universe between one's ears has the potential to (frequently) rub someone else 's universe the wrong way. Such episodes cause arguments, disunity and can escalate to poisonous thinking and emotions, as well as outright violence in different forms. Clearly, the goal of cultivation, any variety, is the transcendence of attachment to views that limit one's ability to interact in a civil, compassionate manner with other sentient beings. For Pure Land cultivators, mindfulness of Amituofo, and the remembrance of one's true identity that accompanies it, can overcome this human tendency; allowing one to be a Buddha moment-by-moment.

Just an observation from an average cultivator with a lot of work to do.

Do You Pray to a Deity Like Theists Do?

Question: If I may pose to the Venerable on the topic of 'Theism and Pure Land.' How would the Venerable respond to the statement--Pure Landers practice similarly to theists: where both 'pray' to a 'deity' and hope for a post mortem 'good abode.'

Response: The Buddha said he was not a god and explained he was "awake."Buddhism is not a religion but a teaching of how to become awakened through one's own personal cultivation and hard work.

For our practice, Pure Land Buddhists who follow Chinese teachings (I can only speak for the school I am familiar with) strive to live a moral life that adheres to the Five Precepts and Ten Virtuous Conducts in everything we think, say and do, and chant (a form of meditation) the name of Amitabha Buddha. Our goal is to attain rebirth in the Western Pure Land where we will be one lifetime away from becoming a Buddha. We seek to become enlightened not just for ourselves but so that we may fulfill our vow to help all beings alleviate their suffering.

Regardless of whether people are Pure Land Buddhists or something else, one's final thoughts lead one to his or her next lifetime. To create the right conditions, Pure Land Buddhists who follow the Chinese teachings work very hard to live morally and to sincerely chant "Amituofo" to be reborn in the Western Pure Land. They do not "pray" to a "god." They meditate to form a connection with Amitabha Buddha (an ordinary being who awakened) to be reborn in his Pure Land. They do not "hope" for "a post mortem good abode," they actively seek rebirth in the Western Pure Land as they are dying. .

For more on the above, please read the entry titled Is Buddhism a Religion? and search the blog for "religion."

The Cause of Mental Suffering

All our mental sufferings are caused by selfish desires for pleasure. Think about that. They are caused by the desire to be what we are not, to have what we do not have, and not to have the things we already have. If we think hard and long about it, there is no denying that the chief culprit in our inability to enjoy a sense of happiness is desire.

What is fear but the desire to avoid; greed, the desire to have; jealousy, the desire that others shall not have; grief, the desire to regain something or someone. All our negative emotions can be worked out in terms of desire, the chain that binds us. The only way to avoid this restlessness is to reduce or get rid of the desire that causes it.

~ K. Sri Dhammananda

How Do I Not Let My Ego be So Sensitive?

Question: How do I not let my ego be so sensitive? I worked hard today, trying to be a good Buddhist with a positive attitude and compassionate to all beings, but a person came in that really irritated me. She makes twice the money I do and has an easy job and a company car. So I continued working hard while trying not to resent that, but I still did. I tried chanting "Amituofo" but it didn't help, my mind kept wandering to why I have so little and she's so rich.

Response: The Buddha cautioned against judging others not just because we're supposed to be looking at ourselves, but because we know so little! On the surface, the woman looks like she has everything: money, job, nice car. But we have no idea what her life is really like. Is she afraid of losing that job? Is she content with what she has or does she want more? When she goes home in the evening, is it to a happy home? 

I strongly suspect things are not as rosy as they appear. If they were, why would she have done something that irritated you? There must have been something. I can't imagine if she came in happy and friendly that you would have been irritated by her. The things we do that irritate others often come from our own suffering. When we're unhappy, we're careless of the feelings of others. When we are happy, we want to share it with others. Not irritate them.

Our jobs, cars, intelligence are all results of what we did and thought in our past lifetimes. She planted the seeds to have these good things so she's legitimately reaping the results.

 The question is, is she continuing to plant the seeds for future good fortune? If she doesn't know to do so, it could well be that she's enjoying her good fortune while not creating more. That's the seed for future suffering. So she's either suffering now because her life is disappointing in various ways that we don't see, or she'll suffer in the future because she's now planting the seeds for suffering.

This is someone to have compassion for, not resentment.

You are learning how to end your suffering. Most likely she doesn't even really know why she's not satisfied and content--why she is suffering.

Who's the fortunate one?

Our suffering lies in what we tell ourselves. An example. Just a while ago I swept my patio. There's been some construction work and dirt had been piled up on it and it was still messy. So while trying to avoid the bugs and ants on it, I swept it so it was nice and clean. Then I admired how good it looked. It hadn't even been an hour when the guys who mow the lawn showed up. I now have a bunch of lawn clippings and other stuff on my patio. It was clean for not even an hour! I could have been frustrated. After all the broom was short and I had to bend over to use it and my back was not happy. Instead, I thought okaaay, now I know that the lawn guys come on Thursday afternoon. So starting next week, I'll clean the patio Friday morning.

It's a small thing, but I could have made it a problem. In this instance, I was able to choose not to. 

This is what "practice" is. Taking what we learn in Buddhism and gradually applying it in daily life.

The Death of Someone We Love is Like a Coin

Like any coin, it has two sides. Too often we become so caught by the one side--grief--that we fail to turn the coin around to see what is on the other side--gratitude.

Without both sides, the coin is unfinished. 

Knowing both are there, it is complete.

Grieving is a process we go through. When it stops being a process and becomes a place we cannot move beyond, we become entangled in sadness, and even despair.

Thinking of those we loved and who are lost to us or of those who are slowly slipping away from us can bring us inexpressible sadness and anger as we silently cry out "Why!"

Or simply cry.

After the shock; the guilt; the anger; the realization of the magnitude of the loss and the sense of loneliness or, for many, depression, we can remain stuck, or we can turn the coin around.

We can gaze at the face of gratitude.

Whether older or younger and for however long it may have been, we had this person in our lives. We benefitted from their wisdom as well as their humor. They taught us how to better help others and to become a more caring person. They helped us to know when we should be determined and strong, and when we should be gentle.

They challenged and encouraged us. 

They cared about us.

They loved us.

Continuing to grieve for the loss of what they gave us burnishes the side called grief and tarnishes the side called gratitude.

Turning the coin around and gazing at the side called gratitude is like polishing it with our love until it glows.