Being kind is not necessarily being gentle.

Sometimes, true kindness is being stern. 

One of Buddhism’s four all-embracing methods is kind words. Picturing this, we might come up with a doting grandmother whose grandson has just played a joke on her. Smiling, she tsks “Alan” to him. He, in turn, just laughs at her. Ah, such kind words!

Not really.

The kind words will likely be those from the shocked mother who turns to her son and firmly says, “Alan! That’s not the right way to treat your grandmother.” The mother then goes on to explain why it is wrong. She spells out the right behavior for the circumstance and tells her son why he should apologize to his grandmother.

The grandmother says what we imagine a grandmother might say. But the mother’s words are the truly kind ones because they teach the type of behavior that her son will need to get along well with people.

Kind word aren’t soft words, but those that help us become better people.