Why Would I Want Non-existence?

Question: Of late, one aspect of Buddhist teaching has been troubling me. The Western idea of soul (mind) as viable individual substance and identity is not present in Buddhism. Therefore, an individual is not an enduring personality or substance. Rebirth does not signify the continuation of a personality, significant and whole in itself. Rather, it is the procession of karmic accretions, linked together and occurring so fast, as to appear as a personality or substance. This phenomenon of personality and substance is rather like the pages in a child's flip-it picture book. Flipped through at high speed, the single pages coalesce into a living, moving, coherent narrative. It's the same way with the links of dependent arising. Thinking about myself, or lack thereof, this way has got me down a bit. Such a perspective robs life of value.

Is there a remedy for this nihilistic viewpoint?

Have I misunderstood a central tenet of Buddhist philosophy? If assiduous practice will eventually culminate in a condition of non-sentient, non-conscious, non-existence, I may not have the courage to continue. Please help me to understand and cope with this dilemma.

Response: It's not that there is no existence, but rather an existence far beyond what we can imagine. It is a state of not wishing for anything; it is pure joy and profound understanding.

We often hear how Buddhas will wait for as long as it takes for us to learn from them and awaken. If Buddhas were in a state of non-existence, what would be left to wait to teach us?

When Shakyamuni Buddha was in our world 3000 years ago, many Buddhas and bodhisattvas came to help him. It is said they took different parts, like actors in a play. If the Buddhas did not exist, how could they have come to help Shakyamuni?

We know from the sutras that Amitabha Buddha is teaching right now in the Western Pure Land. How could this be so if Buddhas no longer existed?

How could Buddhas fulfill their vow of "Sentient beings are innumerable, I vow to help them all" if as soon as they themselves became a Buddha, they were gone? 

Keep reading the excerpts from Venerable Master Chin Kung's talk on the Infinite Life Sutra that are being posted here. Not just once. Keep reading them over and over. What is troubling you will be gradually resolved.

Comments

[John Banach]

My understanding is that A SEPARATE INDIVIDUAL SELF DOES NOT EXIST. But there most definitely is conscious existence, and, as you say, Venerable, it is "far beyond what we can imagine" but can be described as pure joy and profound understanding. Is this correct?

[Venerable Wuling]

John, it is pure joy and perfect understanding, yes.