Giving Up Our Addictions

We often hear in Buddhism that Buddhas and bodhisattvas will help us. Hearing that, many look around at the suffering of uncountable people and ask where are the Buddhas and bodhisattvas? With all the problems we are facing, we certainly need help. So why aren't they helping us?

To some degree they are, we just don't know it. But that's only to some degree.

Why aren't they helping more?

Anyone who has tried to help an alcoholic or drug addict will sadly admit that if the alcoholic or addict does not want help, there is little that can be done to help them. Before the person can be helped, they have to be willing to give up their addiction to alcohol or drugs.

It's the same with the rest of us.

We need to let go of our addictions.

What addictions could we possible have?

Greed for starters. We are addicted to the conveniences we consider it is our right to enjoy. We are addicted to doing what we want when we want. Addicted to consuming more than we need, to indulging our senses, and, generally, to putting our own interests before those of others. 

Anger. We are addicted to thinking we know what is right and that those who disagree with us are wrong, and need to be corrected. We are addicted to expressing how we feel without first thinking how it will affect others. Addicted to failing to practice self-restraint, to not caring enough about others, and, generally, to being so wrapped up in our own emotions that we ignore those of others.

Ignorance. We are addicted to our own complacency and laziness. We are addicted to seeing the suffering of others, silently thanking whoever or whatever that it wasn't us, and continuing with business as usual. Addicted to thinking we can escape the consequences of what we do, to not feeling the suffering of others as acutely as we do our own.

So many addictions. Addictions we don't want to give up.

It is not that Buddhas and bodhisattvas do not want to help. It is that we have not yet done what is necessary for them to be able to do so.

Comments

[Sue K]

As I read this, it struck me that addictions are also an unwillingness to change, even when a change would be a win-win. Change is an unknown. Addictions are often predictable and therefore comfortable in some way.

Change of course means a willingness to experience and embrace non-attachment.

[Matthew Sherman]

Recently, I had an experience that relates to this post. I was at the grocery store waiting in line to be checked out when I realized there was some sort of hold up. It had something to do with two Indian women (full Indian garb) who didn't speak English, their four shopping carts full of goceries and a clerk helping them with something. Due to space constraints, whatever was wrong, it was impeding the progress of three registers.

The lady in line before me repeatedly sighed, rolled her eyes, and screwed her face, muttering derogitory comments about "them". And the three cashiers made gestures to the effect of, "I don't know what the deal is, not my problem." So, we all stood there, waiting for this one bagging clerk to take care of everything. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

I really wanted to tell the lady in front of me, "You should go home and pray for forgiveness. And pray you never find yourself in a strange land in need of help without the ability to communicate." I didn't say that. I knew if I did, the situation would only worsen. And I was upset at the clerks who stood idly by. What's happened to customer service?

Turns out, something fell out of their cart and broke, leaving a big mess. The ladies didn't know how to ask for help, and they wanted a replacement for the broken product. Who wouldn't? Yet we all stood there, angrily and selfishly thinking, "not my problem," "these Indians... ugh!" "isn't somebody gonna do something? I hate waiting!"

While I'm glad I exercised restraint by not chastising anyone, I allowed myself to be angry at the situation. I felt compassion for these poor Indian ladies, but failed to act upon it. After checking out, I walked away thinking, "there has to be something better," which in the following days (thankfully) led me to the Buddhist path.

In the Bible, a scripture says "Faith without works is nothing". A universal truth perhaps? Pondering this blog entry, I can't help but think the Bodhisattvas would say, "help me help you." If we could just step out of our self-inflicted trappings of greed, anger, and ignorance, we'd find many opportunities to practice love and compassion to the benefit of all.