If you want something done

try asking how the person would accomplish it.

Having something that needs to be done, we might ask someone for help. Perhaps a subordinate at work or a dependable friend who generously lends a helping hand when needed. Knowing the outcome we seek, we just tell the person what to do, step by step. We may feel this to be the most effective means to obtain the result we seek. But it may merely be one means out of many.

Next time, instead of just telling the person what to do, try this: explain your hoped-for end result and, very importantly, ask them how they would proceed.

This has several advantages. With their skill sets, they may come up with unique solutions, something completely new to you. They may even know others who can help. Their method can end up being faster and more efficient. Asking how they are going to do something can also bring the other person on as a partner, not merely someone given a task.

However we look at it, all those involved can come out ahead.

"I know what you're thinking."

We do not know what is in the mind of another person.

And we would do well not to guess.

“Why did he do that?” “What was she thinking?”

Let’s face it, it’s tough enough to know why we act the way we do or say the things we say. So when someone asks us those questions about someone else, we are on the cusp of stepping into a minefield of wrong responses. We may try to participate in the conversation, but any answers are guesses at best. We should not even try.

The best response I have heard to such a query: “I do not know what is in the mind of another person.”

Okay—that’s good for several reasons. 1) It’s the truth. 2) We cut out the gossip. 3) We refrain from planting some more bad karmic seeds. 4) We don’t join in idle speculation that wastes time and can get others, and ourselves, in trouble.

I could go on, but you get the point.

So next time, when asked the above, try replying, “Sorry, but I don’t know what is in the mind of another person.”