Sometimes, proving that we’re right isn’t worth the price.

(Part 1)

Once upon a time, a young couple was driving to the lakeside cabin where they were planning to spend their honeymoon. Approaching a junction in the road, the wife said, “We should turn left here to get to the other side of the lake.”

Her husband replied, “We could, but I was told that by turning right, we’d get there quicker.”

She responded that surely going left was better.

With a hint of irritation, her husband retorted that no, he had even checked a map before they left. And his route was best.

“I’m sure I heard my sister say to turn left,” she said.

“No! We need to turn right!” he retorted heatedly.

His wife was becoming upset. “I’m sure we go left.”

Sensing her increasing unhappiness, he realized that the direction didn’t really matter. What mattered was the wonderful person next to him. His face softened, and he said gently, “I’m sorry. You’re correct. Left it is.”

“Thank you,” she said as she squeezed his hand

Habits are like familiar paths.

Do something for that person you’re upset with.

In our cultivation, we need myriad tools to help us overcome obstacles. I used one on a recent visit with someone who, like me, forthrightly expresses her opinions. On this occasion, she said something that was no longer true. Her comment was confusing because she was contradicting some facts I had just mentioned. She completely forgot what I had said earlier.

Replaying in my mind all the nodding she did earlier, I was befuddled. And admittedly somewhat miffed.

But then the unfortunate occasions when I was too opinionated flashed across my mind. This time I was determined not to repeat the hurt, not to cause her pain. Not wanting to embarrass or upset her, I remained silent.

And then, thinking of how easily our careless words can upset others, I apologized for the times that I had verbally irritated her. She graciously said she couldn’t remember my having done so. Wow! Instant pique dissipation. All from considering the other person’s feelings instead of my own.

And apologizing.