Life is Like a Soap Opera

 

Real life is very much like a soap opera in which everyone plays a role. We all have the experience of following the emotional swings of the characters of soap operas. However, we rarely sense that the ensuing sentiments of joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness are but distinctions made by our own minds.

It is much the same in real life. More often than not, we allow our distinctions of circumstances or judgments of people to take charge of our emotions without being conscious about it. Furthermore, it seems we always find it easier to emulate bad examples than good ones.

This is because our delusions accumulated through eons can easily overwhelm us. Hence, we are often swayed by circumstances befitting our sinister desires.

On the other hand, how often have we claimed that “to tolerate the intolerable and practice the impracticable” is the attainment of buddhas and bodhisattvas, thereby excusing ourselves for not following their examples but merely praising them with empty words?

~ Analects of Master Kuang-ch'in

Just be Good

When I first attended the Dallas Buddhist Association, it was as a participant in a meditation group that was started for westerners. Several of us had called at the time a monk arrived from Miami. He was extremely out-going, with an infectious laugh.

One evening, I was helping him carry some supplies to the building the group met in. In Chinese culture, it is very normal to ask someone their age. Since the Chinese respect elders, you quickly realize this is an excellent way to determine how to act properly toward another person and not necessarily a reason to worry about your recent behavior.

As we were walking, the monk asked me how old I was. I told him that I was forty-eight. He carefully considered this for a moment and very sincerely responded, "Too old to learn. Just be good."

Over the years, people have reacted differently to the "Too old to learn" comment. Perhaps it was the way he said it, but I didn't get upset over the first part. I zoomed in on the latter part, "Just be good."

Such a simple instruction—just be good. That's all we have to do. We don't need to complicate our practice. Just recite and learn one sutra. Just chant one Buddha's name. Just focus on this moment. Just be good.

Chant for Me

Recently, a woman asked me to recite a sutra at a specific time on a certain day. She requested this because that was the time she was to undergo a medical procedure. I had mixed emotions about the request for a few reasons.

One was a practical one. While it is helpful for others to chant on our behalf, it is not nearly as effective as when we ourselves chant. At the most, only 1/7^th of the merits generated by our chanting can be transferred to that individual. And that is the optimal amount. To transfer 1/7^th, we would have to focus single-mindedly on our chanting. If our attention wanders, the merit that can be transferred is reduced the more our mind wanders. So if the most we’re starting out with is only 1/7^th, we haven’t got far to go before the chanting generates a negligible amount of merits to transfer.

Also, because we are chanting for one person, our mind is narrow and exclusive, so the merits we generate will also be limited. What about the other people in the hospital who are undergoing medical procedures? Those who are undergoing procedures in hospitals in the United States? In hospitals throughout the world? All those who are ill? Suffering?

When we dedicate the merits from our practice and Buddhist work to all beings, with the sincere wish for all beings to end suffering and attain happiness, our merits will be so much greater than when we dedicate them to one being. And we don’t even need to think of ourselves. We’re one of the “all beings.” When all beings benefit, we benefit.

No More Time to Waste

Charles and Celine, the couple who run and are continuing to build the Amitabha Buddhist Retreat Centre here in Nanango, Australia, are away today attending a funeral.

I have heard them speak of the gentleman who died—a gentle, caring man—over the past, several years. Celine was the one who answered the phone call from the daughter. The father had been living in a care facility a good two hours from here. There might not be many people at the funeral since no one lived nearby.

When she heard of their old friend's death, Celine immediately responded that she and Charles would be there. The daughter was very grateful that her friends would travel so far to pay their respects to her father, and to be with her.

Change. Impermanence. Nothing lasts forever. A dream, a flash of lightning, a drop of dew. We know these, and yet we push thoughts of loved ones dying out of our minds. It hurts too much to think of it. We’re attached, and we cannot let go. We love, and we cannot bear the thought that one day we will lose those we love.

And so, on that most terrible day, that day the world drops away from below us, we find ourselves in shock and no longer with an option to push reality away. We are face-to-face with impermanence. We are alone. We are in pain. We suffer.

Lifetime, after lifetime, after lifetime, we cling and are attached. We know the reality, but we refuse to accept it. We prefer to live in ignorance, ensnared by our emotions and mired in our habits. This will continue into an endless future unless we change.

We need to awaken.

Now.

Good Spiritual Friend

 

“A good spiritual friend who will help us to stay on the path, with whom we can discuss our differences frankly, sure of a compassionate response, provides an important support system which is often lacking. Although people live and practice together, one-upmanship often comes between them. A really good friend is like a mountain guide. The spiritual path is like climbing a mountain: we don't really know what we will find at the summit. We have only heard that it is beautiful, everybody is happy there, the view is magnificent and the air unpolluted. If we have a guide who has already climbed the mountain, he can help us avoid falling into a crevasse, or slipping on loose stones, or getting off the path. The one common antidote for all our hindrances is noble friends and noble conversations, which are health food for the mind.”

~ Ayya Khema, When the Iron Eagle Flies