Free Burma

 

  

 

Free Burma

 

 

Wish to be Happy? Give Daily

You wish to be happy? Loved? Safe? Secure? You want to turn to others in tough times and count on them? You want the warmth of true connection? You’d like to walk into the world each day knowing that this is a place of benevolence and hope? Then I have one answer: give. Give daily, in small ways, and you will be happier. Give and you will be healthier. Give, and you will even live longer.

Generous behavior shines a protective light over the entire life span. The startling findings from our many studies demonstrate that if you engage in helping activities as a teen, you will still be reaping health benefits sixty or seventy years later. And no matter when you adopt a giving lifestyle, your well-being will improve, even late in life. Generous behavior is closely associated with reduced risk of illness and mortality and lower rates of depression. Even more remarkable, giving is linked to traits that undergird a successful life, such as social competence, empathy, and positive emotion. By learning to give, you become more effective at living itself.

~ Stephen Post, PhD and Jill Neimark, Why Good Things Happen to Good People

I'm Sorry, Part Two

In yesterday’s entry, I spoke of repentance in a general sense. We apologize to the person for having done something wrong with “I’m sorry,” not just a mumbled “sorry.” By saying we are sorry or writing a note of apology, we are regretting our actions.

Buddhists often take this one step further. In front of an image of the Buddha, the practitioner recalls what he or she has thought, said, or done wrong. This remembering is often done as one is prostrating. The practitioner then vows not to repeat the behavior.

Since the practitioner is just that—a practitioner—he or she will most likely repeat the mistakes and, thus, not keep those vows. When this happens, getting upset doesn’t help. Repeat the repentance practice and make the vow again.

Keep expressing your regret, vowing, and trying to keep those vows. With practice, we will gradually get better at correcting our wrongdoings.

I'm Sorry, Part One

When things do not go our way while interacting with others, we often end up in a bad mood and become angry. If we are being mindful and realize what is happening while there is still time to recoup, we can try something different.

When we have done something wrong, we can say “I’m sorry.” I realize that this sounds simplistic, but think about it. How often do we say we’re sorry? And mean it. Maybe we just say “Sorry.” Very noncommittal. Not to mention unclear. Does it mean we’re sorry or that the other person should be sorry? While “sorry” is better than nothing, it lacks the spoken ownership and our regret for our having done something wrong.

Hopefully, our realization of having behaved badly will lead to our wanting to improve what has just become an upsetting situation for all involved. An often difficult, but more useful alternative than justifying our actions, is available.

Look the other person in the eye, speak clearly, and say sincerely “I’m sorry.”

Every Word We Think is Important

Every word we think is important.

That may seem a touch strong, but what we think is what we will become. If our thoughts are in any way negative, we’re going in the wrong direction—figuratively and literally.

It’s been a delightfully quiet day. For me that means there has been much work to do but no emergencies hurtling at me through the Internet. The neighbors have been quiet. Other than an occasional car, all I’ve heard have been the sounds of the wrens chirping and the occasional flock of Canada geese discussing flight plans while flying overhead. It’s been a peaceful day, a good day to work.

With this much quiet all I’ve noticed, other than the soft chanting of my "Amituofo" CD, are my thoughts. Even on a peaceful, untroubled day, I’ve noticed they haven’t all been as admirable as they could.  Nothing serious. Just a touch of sarcasm when I was trying for wit or a fleeting thought of what was that? Self-satisfaction? A hint of anger?

Like I said—nothing serious. But if such thoughts arise on a peaceful day without deadlines or disturbances, it’s little wonder we think and say the things we do on bad days. But the problem then is, we don’t notice what we’re doing until the harm is done. Then it’s too late.

So now is a good time to practice, when life is peaceful and I can catch and immediately correct myself. And hopefully I'll get better at it when times are more "challenging."