How Do I Not Let My Ego be So Sensitive?

Question: How do I not let my ego be so sensitive? I worked hard today, trying to be a good Buddhist with a positive attitude and compassionate to all beings, but a person came in that really irritated me. She makes twice the money I do and has an easy job and a company car. So I continued working hard while trying not to resent that, but I still did. I tried chanting "Amituofo" but it didn't help, my mind kept wandering to why I have so little and she's so rich.

Response: The Buddha cautioned against judging others not just because we're supposed to be looking at ourselves, but because we know so little! On the surface, the woman looks like she has everything: money, job, nice car. But we have no idea what her life is really like. Is she afraid of losing that job? Is she content with what she has or does she want more? When she goes home in the evening, is it to a happy home? 

I strongly suspect things are not as rosy as they appear. If they were, why would she have done something that irritated you? There must have been something. I can't imagine if she came in happy and friendly that you would have been irritated by her. The things we do that irritate others often come from our own suffering. When we're unhappy, we're careless of the feelings of others. When we are happy, we want to share it with others. Not irritate them.

Our jobs, cars, intelligence are all results of what we did and thought in our past lifetimes. She planted the seeds to have these good things so she's legitimately reaping the results.

 The question is, is she continuing to plant the seeds for future good fortune? If she doesn't know to do so, it could well be that she's enjoying her good fortune while not creating more. That's the seed for future suffering. So she's either suffering now because her life is disappointing in various ways that we don't see, or she'll suffer in the future because she's now planting the seeds for suffering.

This is someone to have compassion for, not resentment.

You are learning how to end your suffering. Most likely she doesn't even really know why she's not satisfied and content--why she is suffering.

Who's the fortunate one?

Our suffering lies in what we tell ourselves. An example. Just a while ago I swept my patio. There's been some construction work and dirt had been piled up on it and it was still messy. So while trying to avoid the bugs and ants on it, I swept it so it was nice and clean. Then I admired how good it looked. It hadn't even been an hour when the guys who mow the lawn showed up. I now have a bunch of lawn clippings and other stuff on my patio. It was clean for not even an hour! I could have been frustrated. After all the broom was short and I had to bend over to use it and my back was not happy. Instead, I thought okaaay, now I know that the lawn guys come on Thursday afternoon. So starting next week, I'll clean the patio Friday morning.

It's a small thing, but I could have made it a problem. In this instance, I was able to choose not to. 

This is what "practice" is. Taking what we learn in Buddhism and gradually applying it in daily life.

The Death of Someone We Love is Like a Coin

Like any coin, it has two sides. Too often we become so caught by the one side--grief--that we fail to turn the coin around to see what is on the other side--gratitude.

Without both sides, the coin is unfinished. 

Knowing both are there, it is complete.

Grieving is a process we go through. When it stops being a process and becomes a place we cannot move beyond, we become entangled in sadness, and even despair.

Thinking of those we loved and who are lost to us or of those who are slowly slipping away from us can bring us inexpressible sadness and anger as we silently cry out "Why!"

Or simply cry.

After the shock; the guilt; the anger; the realization of the magnitude of the loss and the sense of loneliness or, for many, depression, we can remain stuck, or we can turn the coin around.

We can gaze at the face of gratitude.

Whether older or younger and for however long it may have been, we had this person in our lives. We benefitted from their wisdom as well as their humor. They taught us how to better help others and to become a more caring person. They helped us to know when we should be determined and strong, and when we should be gentle.

They challenged and encouraged us. 

They cared about us.

They loved us.

Continuing to grieve for the loss of what they gave us burnishes the side called grief and tarnishes the side called gratitude.

Turning the coin around and gazing at the side called gratitude is like polishing it with our love until it glows. 

Essence of the Infinite Life Sutra, Excerpt Twenty-four

What they have said is sincere and true. They delve deeply into the meanings and flavor. They enlighten all sentient beings. They show by example and teach the proper Dharma.

“What they have said is sincere and true.” “Sincere” means that what they [the bodhisattvas of the Western Pure Land] say is the truth; it is absolutely not a lie. This excerpt sentence is praising the teachings in the Buddhist sutras—where every word and every sentence are words of truth.

The word “meanings” in “they delve deeply into the meanings and flavor” means principle. “Flavor” refers to the flavor of the Dharma. When we truly delve deeply into the meanings and flavor, we will find that the meanings and flavor in the sutras are boundless. Not only that, but we will also find the name of Amitabha Buddha to have boundless meanings and flavor.

How do we get to taste the flavor? By single-mindedly chanting the Buddha-name, we will taste boundless meanings and flavor. After we taste the flavor of the Dharma, there will be no stopping us. During our learning, we will truly feel joy and will definitely be making courageous and diligent progress.

Now, when we chant the Buddha-name we do not taste any flavor of the Dharma because when we chant “Amituofo” we are thinking of other things. This is the reason that our cultivation has not gone anywhere. We should diligently continue with our chanting. Anything that obstructs us from single-mindedly chanting should be discarded. In addition, we should chant with a sincere, pure, and respectful mind. After chanting in this way for half a year, we will taste the flavor of the Dharma. When we do, we will have confidence in attaining rebirth in the Western Pure Land. The more we chant, the firmer our confidence. We will be able to know in advance the time of our rebirth.

Those who are very advanced in their cultivation can attain rebirth at their own will. They can go anytime they want. If they want to go now, they can. If they want to go at a later time, they can. They have truly attained freedom in life and death.

Frankly, every one of us can achieve this. The question is whether we are willing to concentrate on chanting. Jueming Miaoxing Bodhisattva clearly said in Pointing Clearly to the West that our chanting should not be intermingled with anything. Intermingling is not concentrating.

“They enlighten all sentient beings. They show by example and teach the proper Dharma.” “Enlighten” means to help. They help their students; they show by example and lecture on the true Dharma.

How does one show by example? By practicing according to the teachings. If we teach people to act one way but we ourselves act another way and do not practice what we teach, then those who listen to us may not believe our words. For example, if I tell you to mindfully chant the Buddha-name and I do not do so myself, would you believe my words? You would not.

One must practice what one teaches. This is “show by example.” One is not putting on a show; one understands the teachings and principles in the sutras and actually practices them fully. One does what the Buddha teaches one to do and does not do what the Buddha teaches not to do.

All the methods that the Buddhas and bodhisattvas use to teach the beings are expedient teachings, which serve as guides [to the ultimate teachings]; they are not the latter. The ultimate teaching is the teaching of mindfully chanting the Buddha-name and seeking rebirth in the Western Pure Land. The Avatamsaka Sutra, in its conclusion, teaches practitioners to mindfully chant the Buddha-name and seek rebirth in the Western Pure Land. But most ordinary beings do not believe or accept this Buddha-name chanting method. It is a method that is hard to believe. To make people believe and accept this method—this is the difficulty.

Buddhas and bodhisattvas are compassionate. They earnestly and patiently urge us, and skillfully use various means to lead us to achieve the state of attainment. When we achieve this state, we will truly feel grateful to the Buddhas and bodhisattvas for their kindness. Only by practicing the Buddha-name chanting method can we succeed[1] in one lifetime. If we do not practice this method, we will only plant a few good roots in this lifetime and will continue to transmigrate within the Six Paths.

---

[1] Success in one lifetime refers to transcending the Ten Realms and attaining Buddhahood in one lifetime. The Ten Realms consists of the Six Paths and the Four Sage Dharma Realms.—Trans.

~ Essence of the Infinite Life Sutra by Venerable Master Chin Kung 

How Can I Stop Being Angry With Myself for all the Terrible Things I Have Done?

Question: It seems that every aspect of life has gone wrong these days; personal, professional, health--everything. It is easy in times like these to beat oneself up, especially since life's circumstances are generated by karma i.e. the consequence of one's own thought, speech or action. My question, then, is this...how can I stop being so angry with me, to the point of despising myself at times, because it seems all my fault, a karmic "butt-kicking" if you will? My negative thinking is counter-productive, and makes me feel unworthy of progress toward enlightenment. What is the remedy for this poison thinking? How may I be as loving & compassionate with myself as with someone else? Please offer your advice. Thank you for your kind attention.

Response: The first of the four great vows of Buddhas and bodhisattvas is "Sentient beings are innumerable, I vow to help them all." We are one of those beings, so we need to help ourselves as well with patience and forgiveness.

How?

Instead of feeling guilty over what we did in the past, we need to let go of the guilt and chant "Amituofo." 

In other words, don't dwell on past mistakes, do something to eliminate them.

If we are angry about the wrong things we have done in the past, we will not only not be eliminating them, we'll be creating more! Chanting "Amituofo" will help cleanse some of the past bad karmas while doing good karmas. We're supposed to understand cause and effect not just to know why bad things are happening and not blame others for our problems, but to be able to create better conditions for our future.

In our practice, we don't just forgive others, we also need to forgive ourselves. We were--and are--just as ignorant as others. We need to recognize that we did bad things so we don't repeat them, not to beat ourselves up over having done them!

Each of us needs to let go. Not just of the things we like, not just the good stuff. We also need to let go of our guilt and self-anger for what we did in the past.

The past is done and over with. The future is yet to be created. The present is where we do the creating. 

Be patient with yourself, as you would be with a child. And patiently and mindfully replace each negative thought with "Amituofo." 

Can I Read Other Sutras to Compliment My Study of the Pure Land Sutras?

Question: I have been a Pure Land cultivator for a year now and I enjoy reading the blog, the Amitabha Sutra and the Infinite Life Sutra. I have never read the Avatamsaka Sutra, but I have been thinking of reading and studying it to compliment my Pure Land cultivation. What do you think?

Response: The Avatamsaka Sutra is an extraordinarily profound and lengthy sutra. Furthermore, it is the sutra of the Avatamsaka school, not the Pure Land school. Shakyamuni Buddha explained that for people of our time, we needed to learn the Pure Land teachings. Our two core sutras are the Amitabha Sutra and the Infinite Life Sutra.  

Fortunately, we have commentaries on the Amitabha Sutra and excerpts from one of Venerable Master Chin Kung's lectures on the Infinite Life Sutra. Trying to understand a sutra on our own is just too difficult, unless one is of a very high level of achievement so commentaries are vitally important. I know of no commentary on the Avatamsaka Sutra in English. 

As I (and more importantly, those far more accomplished than I) have often said, we need to focus on one practice, one sutra. So it's mindfully chanting "Amituofo" and reciting either the Amitabha Sutra or the Infinite Life Sutra. We do both of these to purify our minds and form a connection with Amitabha Buddha. We also learn the profound teachings in our chosen sutra to better understand what and why we are chanting and reciting. 

Studying other sutras is not complimenting our practice, it is taking time away from our practice and our goal of transcending the cycle of rebirth and ending suffering. When we get to the Pure Land, we will have all the time we need to learn other teachings and practices. Until then, we need to focus on getting there.

As soon as possible.

Essentially, it comes down to one "simple" question: do we want to spend our time reading or do we want to end our suffering?