Being kind is not necessarily being gentle.

Sometimes, true kindness is being stern.

One of Buddhism’s four all-embracing methods is kind words.

Picturing this, we might come up with a doting grandmother smiling as she tsks “Alan” to her grandchild who just laughed at her. Ah, such kind words! Not really.

The kind words will likely be those from the shocked mother who turns to her son and firmly says, “Alan! That’s not the right way to treat your grandmother.”

The mother then goes on to explain why it was wrong, what the right behavior would be in the circumstances and tells her son why he should apologize to his grandmother. While the grandmother said what we’d imagine a grandmother would say, the mother’s words were the truly kind ones because they taught the type of behavior that her son will need to get along well with people.

Kind word aren’t soft words, but those that help us become better people.

Nurture good seeds

to overwhelm the bad. 

The honeysuckle shrub can grow so tightly compacted that even the most persistent weeds cannot invade it. The plant stands untouched, forestalling any attempted incursion.We can only imagine the stamina of the seeds, the tenacity of the roots that enable the plant to remain impregnable.

Imagine if we planted Amituofo seeds with the same vitality, not in our backyard, but in our mind.

And then we supported those seeds by planting more and more of them.

In time, those seeds would grow, their once-shallow roots becoming strong. Provided with the right conditions through our cultivation and mental weeding of bad habits, our Amituofo seeds would thrive. In time, like those of the honeysuckle, our good roots would forestall any incursion.

Our garden will bloom, our fruit of birth in the Pure Land will mature.

Finally, we go home.

In all endeavors,

seek to avoid mistakes, not win praise. 

Blanket statements are tricky, so let’s just say the vast majority of us like to be praised.

Praise from those entrusted with the responsibility to raise us taught us how to behave respectfully and ethically. It encouraged us to act in ways that enhanced our lives and did not detract from them.

But praise should not drive our behavior because that would make praise our goal when our goal should be to not make mistakes—either technically or ethically. Those who wished us to become honorable adults taught and exemplified honorable behavior and humility.

For whatever reasons, others less fortunate grew up or are now growing up craving praise. At any cost. And so from politicians on Twitter to the neighborhood teenager with an Instagram account, we have people who will do anything for attention, for praise.

A terribly risky, and sad, way to live.