Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care . . . (Click image for video)

Praise. 

Be not concerned that you don’t get any.

But be concerned that you are not acting 

in a praiseworthy way. 

It feels good to be praised. Many people may feel grateful that they didn’t mess up again. Arrogant people may think how perceptive others are to recognize quality when they see it. Wise people may politely murmur “Amituofo” and carry on with what they were doing.

Hopefully, we’re like those wise people because they understand the pitfalls of praise. Compliments are the karmic result for actions done. But they are actually poor returns because wise people aspire to accrue merits, which are permanent, not something transient like compliments.

Understanding this, our question regarding praise becomes not how we can receive it but, rather, how we can act in a manner that would be worthy of praise. And not just from anybody, but from those we respect. Not so they will praise us.

But because their high standards are the benchmarks we use to judge ourselves.

If others ask for your opinion . . . (Click image for video)

Don’t focus on what you have done

but on what you can do. 

Maybe it’s “Gee, I was clever to do that!”

Or perhaps, “Oh no, what was I thinking?”

Probably both as we swing from congratulating ourselves one day to being overwhelmed with regret the next. Life spent on an emotional seesaw from recalling what we did can feel exhilarating. Or depressing. Either way, it’s exhausting. And fruitless. Thoughts of things we accomplished can lead to arrogance. Thoughts of what we failed at can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

Both, and pretty much everything in between, are not helpful because they’re in the past, and we can’t fix what’s in the past. All we can do is learn to live with it. Ultimately, when we focus on what we did in the past, we’re looking in the wrong direction. We need to consider our options and focus on what we can do now because now is all we have.

And because now is where we still have choices, still have the potential to decide on those that are truly wise and wondrous.