I resolve not to use harsh speech. 

Instead, I will speak words that 

benefit others and foster peace. 

The paramita of giving involves three categories: wealth, teachings, and fearlessness. When we give fearlessness, we ease others’ distress and nurture their feelings of safety. If, however, we’re using bad language, belittling others, offending or hurting others with our abrasive speech or tone of voice, raising our voices—we’re using harsh speech.

And we’re giving fear.

Not fearlessness.

Our speech can have lasting effects. The harsh words we blurt out will be stored in our consciousness. We also run the genuine risk of having them firmly embedded in the other person’s consciousness as well. In the heat of the moment, when we’re too wrapped up in our feelings to allow our mindfulness to weigh in on what we’re about to say, we create great harm.

What to do? Remain silent. Listen to the other person. Think before opening our mouth.

Do not judge others for their choices... (Click image for video)

I resolve not to use false speech. 

Instead, I will speak the truth 

in a wise way and at the right time. 

False speech is more than outright lying, more than voicing a wrong statement. For instance, denying taking something when we did.

False speech can be exaggerating the retelling of what happened. Maybe in the hope of making a funny event more entertaining. Or making a trivial incident more noteworthy.

False speech can be presenting information in a biased, distorted way to mislead the listener. It can be deliberately deceitful. Or appear harmless. Perhaps stemming from the wish to not hurt others’ feelings or to save them embarrassment.

Know this: false speech is just that, for it lumbers the listener with misinformation. We need instead to speak in a way that others find trustworthy, acceptable, and safe to act on. Truthful speech requires a calm mind. It entails respect for those who hear what we say. It stems from sensitivity.

And sometimes even courage.