“There is nothing 

either good or bad, 

but thinking makes it so.” 

Shakespeare famously wrote these words in Hamlet. And how true these words are. For it is our thinking that makes us happy and at ease. Or otherwise. As we go through life, trying to prevail in a constantly happy state, we stubbornly blot out experiences that tell us that life is otherwise. We do this as we incessantly pursue the posit that only pleasant phenomena will make us happy.

But happiness is a mental state, not a quality inherent in material possessions or new experiences.

So rightly, whether or not something puts a smile on our face depends on what we tell ourselves.

We can firmly—and wrongly—assert that to be happy we just need more pleasing objects, relationships, and situations. Or, we can accept that wanting more inevitably leads to more wanting. And more disappointment, and frustration and, thus, more suffering. Causes with downward spiraling effects.

It’s our choice.

When stung by criticism, was it because . . . (Click image for video)

He who receives kindness should never forget it,

but he who performs kindness 

would be wise to forget it.

We should always be grateful for the kindness that others have shown to us. Kindness can relieve our fears and worries, and lessen our suffering. Remembering the kindness of others and how much it meant to us, we will be more inclined to pass it on.

But when we are kind to others, remember it not. Thinking of our kindness to others could allow pride to creep in. We might look down on the person who needed our help—mentally patting that person on her head like we would a child. While we, dwelling on our good actions, mentally pat ourselves on the shoulder. Unaware of the tiny changes within us, we have given pride a home. And there goes our humility.

The Buddha warned us of the four poisons of greed, anger, ignorance, and arrogance. Pride is a slippery slope with the bottom being arrogance. So just as we need to guard against anger arising, we need to also guard against pride.