With grasping, we lose.

Without grasping, we gain. 

Let’s try an experiment.

Close your eyes and imagine reaching out your hand to pick up a small stone. With your palm facing downwards, use your fingers and thumb to pick up the stone carefully. Holding the stone tightly lest it drops, your fingers will begin to ache and cramp up after a while. You can grasp the stone for a few minutes, a few hours, or maybe longer.

But the longer you hold on, the more painful the holding becomes until at some point the inevitable happens. You release your grip. Despite all your grasping, you cannot hold on to the stone forever. It will fall and be lost.

Now, once again imagine reaching out your hand to pick up that same stone. But this time, after you pick it up, turn your hand over with your palm facing up. Open your hand and let the stone sit quietly on your palm. Your fingers are now relaxed.

With grasping, we lose.

Without grasping, we gain.

It can be a fine line between . . . (Click image for video)

How do I choose a school in Buddhism? 

What criteria should I use? 

The Buddha taught 84,000 methods, a number symbolizing uncountable. All methods are equally good—no one method is superior or inferior to another. Each person just needs to find the most suitable one in light of their abilities and the way they live. 

In your search, you might listen to different teachers, read various books, and check out Buddhist websites.

If you live where there is a Buddhist center, you could visit it to get a better feeling for the practice and teachings. If there isn’t a center close by, you might attend a day-long or weekend retreat to see if the practice and teachings feel appropriate for you.

Finding the right method depends on your conditions. Recognizing the method is mainly intuitive. When you are fortunate enough to find the correct method for you, everything just feels right—the practice, the teachings, the people—everything. This rightness has been likened to a feeling of “coming home.” Finally.