a buddhist perspective

When Queen Maha Pajapati asked the Buddha to allow her to join the Order, why did he hesitate but give permission later on?

For those who are interested in the ordination of women, this is one of the most puzzling questions, which needs a great deal of contextual understanding.

When King Suddhodana, the Buddha’s royal father passed away, the duty of a wife to her husband was completed. It was the right time for Maha Pajapati to consider following the teaching and the practice of the Buddha seriously. But when she approached and asked for permission the Buddha simply said, “Please do not ask so.” The Tripitaka, which is the most important primary source, did not provide any reason for not allowing women to join the Order.

Many interpretations were given in later commentaries trying to explain the situation. This led also to common belief that the Buddha did not want to allow women to lead a religious life. This is not without basis. According to Indian social mores, to lead a religious life is not the path for women. Manudharma Sastra was very clear to spell out that salvation for a woman is possible only through bhakti (devotion) to her husband.

But Maha Pajapati was unshaken in her decision. After the Buddha had gone, she, along with 500 Sakiyanis (Sakyan women) from the royal court shaved their heads and donned the yellow robes. They followed him on foot until they arrived at Vesali where the Buddha resided. Upon arriving at the arama (residence) they did not ask to have an audience with the Buddha for fear of being rejected again. Ananda, the Buddha’s cousin and personal attendant, found them at the entrance covered with dust, with torn robes and bleeding feet. Many of them were miserable and in tears of desperation. He learned from them of their request and on their behalf approached the Buddha. Again, the Buddha forbade Ananda in the same manner, “Ananda, please do not ask so.”

There are various reasons to be taken in consideration in attempting to understand the possible difficulties or obstacles which presented themselves in the mind of the Buddha.

First of all Maha Pajapati was a queen who, along with 500 ladies of the court, knew only the life of comfort. To lead a reclusive life allowing them only to sleep under the tree, or in the cave, would be too hard for them. Out of compassion the Buddha wanted them to think it over.

Furthermore, accepting a large group of women to be ordained all at once would immediately involve teachers to provide them both instruction and training. The Buddha also could not make himself constantly accessible for them. The Sangha was not ready with competent teachers to handle a large crowd of women. This proved to be a reality later on when women were already accepted to the Sangha. Monks who could teach the nuns must be not only learned but also require an appropriate attitude to help uplift women spiritually.

The Buddha already received criticism from outsiders for breaking up families by ordaining either the husbands or wives. When Maha Pajapati approached him with 500 Sakiyanis, definitely this would be a major cause of criticism. Particularly Sakyas did not marry people from other clans. By allowing 500 Sakiyanis to be ordained would definitely affect the social status quo. But it was revealed that these women’s husbands had already joined the Order. Thus, the criticism that accepting these women would break up their families became groundless.

The fact that these women followed him on foot to Vesali is a proof of their genuine commitment to lead religious lives and removed the doubt that their request might be out of momentary impulse.

These could have been some of the reasons behind the Buddha’s hesitation. The Buddha needed the time to examine both the pros and cons to their request.

Ananda also tried to understand the Buddha’s refusal. Is it because women are not capable of achieving spiritual enlightenment? If that is so, then ordination, a spiritual path is open only to men. To this, the Buddha made it clear that both men and women have equal potentiality to achieve spiritual enlightenment.

We have to mark this statement, as this is the first time in the history of religion that a religious leader declared openly that men and women are equal on spiritual grounds. Previously in the Hindu context, the Vedas, the most sacred religious texts, were available only to men. Buddhism has declared that the highest spiritual achievement transcends obstacles or discrimination of gender. With this important reason, the Buddha allowed women to join his Order.

~ Chatsumarn Kabilsingh, Ph.D.

Question: I would like to become a monk but do not know how to do so. My primary wish is to be able to help others. Can you please give me some advice? I have become a vegetarian and begun to simplify my life.

Response: I will respond from my personal experience as an American nun whose teacher is Master Chin Kung since I cannot speak for others.

First, we need to look around and then choose the school that is most suitable for us. For me that is Chinese Pure Land. For you it might be Theravada or one of the Mahayana schools: Zen or Tibetan, or perhaps Pure Land, for example.

Next, we need to find the right master for us. This is not to say that some masters are better than others, only that we need to find the one that we have a strong affinity with and can best learn from. Meeting this individual depends on our causes and conditions. If the time is not right, no matter now much we search, we will not meet “our” teacher. If the time IS right, we will quickly find our teacher.

Then you need to spend time at the Buddhist temple or center to see first hand how the monastics live and practice to be sure it is a lifestyle that is truly suitable for you. Also, the master and the monastics need to observe you to determine your aptness for a monastic life in that particular sangha. If you decide that, yes, this is the right practice and teacher; you formally make your wish to become a monastic known to the master.

Whether this happens depends on the seeds you have previously planted.

Not knowing if we will meet the right conditions or not, the best thing to do is essentially what you have already begun to do. Studying Buddhism, becoming vegetarian, not engaging in activities that will distract you from what you truly want to do—help all living beings to end suffering and find lasting joy—will help you to focus on creating better causes.

To get the fruit we need to plant the seed.

You need not wait to become a monk to accomplish your goals of helping others and yourself to be free from samsara. The difficulties you face in daily life can provide you with an opportunity to begin helping others right now. Your example can touch others. You might not even know it is happening, but when practicing to be a good Buddhist, you act kindly and carefully with a sense of quiet happiness, others will notice and some will be touched. It may only plant a seed in them but that’s all we can hope to do—reach a few people on a deeper level and plant some seeds in others.

Your sincerity in wanting to help will plant the causes you need to become a monk. I do not know when they will mature. But, if your bear your wish in mind as you work at your practice, dedicate the merits to all beings, and strive to be a better person, someday your goal will be accomplished.

Yesterday, I wrote a bit about how monastics in the past often spent their time. I had started to answer a question people often ask me: What do you do all day? (Polite emphasis on the second “do.”) I found myself digressing because there is an oft-held idea that monastics spend much of their time sitting in meditation.

In the past, in a less crowded and slower-paced world, a reclusive life was quite possible. But that life was by no means easy as anyone who has tried to meditate for eight hours a day will attest.

So having a glimpse of what monastics did in the past, how do monastics today spend their time?

I can’t speak for other monastics other than to say that all the ones I know are very busy. The world has caught up with us. It’s tough to find a quiet forest or a secluded mountain these days.

So for those who have asked what do I do—my primary work is editing translations. This was the major reason I became a nun: to have more time to work on translating the talks of my teacher, Ven. Master Chin Kung. Usually I try to work with our team on one main project at a time. We use the Internet for web-conferencing, a vast improvement over emailing files and just writing comments. Periodically we get urgent requests for translations from people in China, Taiwan, and Australia. It’s “fun” when we get requests from all three at one time. (That’s when coffee moves from the beverage category to the medicinal category.) I also do editing for other societies.

In addition to the editing work, I also teach, write books and this blog, record audio books, answer prisoner’s correspondence, prepare materials for publication and supervise their production, and work with websites. Basically, I help others when they ask for assistance and also try to decide what needs to be done and then do it.

People also ask about my living arrangements.

I have remained in my mother's apartment since I now have several classes that I teach locally. I have turned the apartment living room, dining room, and larger bedroom into a Buddhist center. This arrangement works very well because we hold classes and one-day retreats here.

For those who have asked, I do my own cooking. It gets me away from the computer! Thankfully, my neighbors are away during the day. (I talk to myself a lot when I'm cooking—sort of a Buddhist nun stand-up comedy routine. My mother would have approved.)

Whenever I need help, there are wonderful people here to help. Jim brought over some salt to put down after the sleet this week and Ruth hung my thermal drapes. (I helped her by working on the computer.) Jim and Hank put the bookcases together. Kathleen offered to get me locally-grown organic produce from the farmer’s market in Goshen. Geneele arranged for me to see her optometrist brother-in-law. And the list goes on and on.    

So basically, what I "do" is stay happily busy. 

In the past, the world was less crowded and the pace of life was slower. Monastics withdrew from the life of a householder to live a more reclusive life. They renounced a life in which family and work responsibilities, and earning a livelihood were of prime concern. They did so to be able to dedicate their lives to progressing more rapidly along the path to awakening.

To become a monastic, the individual needed to be sure family responsibilities would be met in the future. For example, if the parents were elderly, the future monastic needed to arrange for their support. They might have asked siblings, neighbors, or friends if they would be able to help. Family responsibilities well taken care of, the person could leave home and begin to follow the occupation of a monastic.

Depending on the tradition, there would be different kinds of work for the monastic to do. The work usually entailed cleaning, maintenance, and sometimes farming and cooking. When finished with their daily work, the monastics would practice and learn. Different traditions and masters would have their students do these in varying proportions.

Contact with the outside world was limited. Monasteries and nunneries were often located in forests and on mountains and, thus, not readily accessible. This inaccessibility provided more time for the monastics to do their work, practice, and study.

In China, for example, it was traditional for new monastics to spend most of their time working. After a few years, they would be able to spend eight hours a day in study and eight hours in cultivation. Spending sixteen hours a day on study and cultivation, and having limited contact with the outside world, left them with little time for wandering thoughts. In this way, they could advance in their practice fairly quickly.

So monastic's lives, which were very busy, were somewhat removed from society.

When people become comfortable talking to me (and realize it would take a pretty strange question to elicit an eyebrow raise) the subject of leaving one's family to become a monastic often comes up. How can we leave our families, those we love, behind? Don't we feel alone?

As my Teacher explained one time, it's not as though we no longer have a family. Instead, we have a very large family for everyone is now in that family. It's all a matter of perspective.

As monastics, we also have a Buddhist family. Earlier this year, I was speaking to a monk at a monastery after the subject of my coming for an extended visit to give lectures came up. With a warm smile, he said I was very welcome to come as we're all children of the Buddha. Instant family!

More recently, I have begun writing to two monks. The first introduced himself and asked some excellent questions about Pure Land practice. He then mentioned this blog to another monk and now we're also getting to know each other. Another part of the family!

What is so wonderful is that thanks to technology, it becomes so much easier for us monastics to meet our siblings. It makes no difference that the siblings may belong to different traditions or are from different countries. The motivation to become a monastic, the strong wish to be of benefit to others, and the ultimate goal of awakening go beyond traditions and cultures. A brother is always a brother.