a buddhist perspective

At the Culver Academy yesterday, we did a very simple meditation that anyone, regardless of their faith tradition, can do.

After settling into a meditation position that is comfortable for you, breathe in thinking “May I be happy.” Then, breathe out while thinking “May all beings be happy.”

That’s it!

First we take in happiness for ourselves. But we keep that happiness for the briefest of moments, and then we turn around and give it to all beings. So the happiness we create, we immediately share with everyone. The in-breath creates some tension as our diaphragm pulls air into our lungs on our thought of personal happiness. The out-breath releases the tension as we release the happiness with the thought that it will benefit all beings.

Earlier this month, I was asked what I would be doing for Christmas. I replied that after having arrived in Toronto on Christmas eve, I would be giving my first lecture at the US-Canada Pure Land Buddhist Retreat. On hearing my reply that I would be working, Cameo and Jim were probably both even happier they were taking me out to dinner with them! I thought of how I was looking forward to trip: lecturing on the Amitabha Sutra, participating in a retreat, seeing old friends.  

After I got home that evening, I learned that in the United States, more people will have heart attacks today than any other day of the year. It's a combination of stress, too much partying, people not following their regular schedules and forgetting their medicine, and several other reasons. A day of celebration has, for too many people, become a day of anxiety and overindulgence.

And there is more. This is also the time of year the suicide rate increases as depression becomes more prevalent.

Regrets. Memories. Expectations. We think others are having fun but we’re not. We think by indulging ourselves and others, we’ll all be happy.

One of my favorite movies at this time of year is the 1951 movie, A Christmas Carol. Scrooge learned how to embody the spirit of Christmas by being considerate, by spending time with his family, and by giving small but needed gifts. Maybe he was on to something...

A recent post on the bog "No Impact Man"

Anyway, the day No Impact ended, Michelle and I bolted out to see Margo at the Wedding. The fact that we were seeing a movie was such a big deal in the narrative of No Impact that the documentary film makers even filmed us going to the cinema. A year of no movies. We were finally free. This was going to be great, right?

So guess what happened?

We were kind of bored.

The thing is, movies are okay, but honestly, it turned out we weren't missing much. Plus Michelle went to look around Barneys and came out not even wanting to buy anything. Plus, we've both ended up walking out of other movies.

You know what it is? We never missed movies, per se. We never missed stuff. But there was still some kind of pull, and here's what it was: wanting to have what other people around us had, wanting to do what they did, wanting to be where they were. In other words, it was, more or less, social anxiety.

If we get to do the things that other people do and have the things that other people have, that means we're as loveable as everyone else. If we go the places they go, then we're as cool and, therefore, again, loveable. Consumption has become a surrogate for being loved.

Instead of going and spending time with people we buy things or show up places like movies because the culture has sold us a bill of goods that says that this is what will make people love us.

How sad. So many of us are a bit lonely and need more human contact. We think the way to get it is to buy things. But really, if we want to be loved, what we we need is living rooms full of people instead of closets full of stuff. We need community. Isn't that an important point? We could be happy without the stuff and without wrecking the planet. We just need to hang out more.

How Buddhist! We have bought into the concept that "more will make us happy."

But in reality, with less, we will find contentment, and wisdom. 

I've written about happiness several times; about how less is more and life is like a soap opera, and when people have asked what attachments are.

Happiness is an inner state. An inner state cannot be brought about by external circumstances. An inner state arises from our mind. From our perceptions and thoughts. From the conclusions we draw and the things we tell ourselves. So happiness does not come from more things or experiences. And it certainly does not come from believing the advertising we are assailed with everywhere we look.

The Buddha warned us about the three poisons of greed, anger, and ignorance. Our greed can destroy our practice. And as we are now beginning to realize, greed can destroy our world. It can do this in many ways. We desire power, we crave revenge, we yearn for love—the list is endless. But the bottom line is: “I want.” And the unspoken thought following this declaration is…and I’m just not going to think about the consequences.

Today I read Use less or use better?. The entry, the excerpt below from a New Yorker article, and the comments were equally good. 

"I asked [Amory] Lovins how his plan to save the world through energy efficiency could accommodate the open-ended nature of human desire. If, as he claims, conservation is profitable, what was to stop the profits from going straight toward more consumption?

"It doesn't automatically prevent that," he said. But, he added, "you might plow the money back into more efficiency rather than more powerboats and helicopter skiing. After all, you don't rewash your clean clothes in the cheaper-to-run washing machine, because your clothes are already clean. At some point, I think you get jaded by continuous trips to Bali.

"Your neighbors might point out that what you're doing is increasingly antisocial," he continued. "On a moral or spiritual level, at some point you may discover you're not all that happy having more stuff or more travel. Trying to meet non-material needs by material means is stupid and futile. Every faith tradition that I know decries materialism.

"Markets are meant to be greedy, not fair. Efficient, not sufficient. They're very good at short-term allocation of scarce resources, but that's all they're good at. They were never meant to tell you how much is enough or how to fulfill the higher purpose of a human being."

We need to figure out where happiness comes from, what our preoccupation with self-gratification is doing to our world and the less fortunate beings we share it with, and how we are going to change.

And as we know from our practice of Buddhism, change starts with ourself.

* "Mr. Green: Environmentalism's Most Optimistic Guru," January, 2007 New Yorker, Elizabeth Kolbert with Amory Lovins

If we are sympathetic to others’ welfare while maintaining goodwill, commiseration, and loving-kindness for all people, then we will not judge others. We will not say that this person is right and that person is wrong because we will come to understand that we do not know what is really happening, that we will likely mis­take falsity for truth. But if we are able to regard both friend and foe with sympathy and loving-kindness, we will then be able to practice the nonjudgmental, unconditional giving of love and thus wish for all beings to be happy.