a buddhist perspective

Imagine you are driving along a country road at night. You go around a curve and your headlights suddenly are on a lone deer. Transfixed by the light, the deer is frozen, unable to move. Confused, it cannot move forward or go back where it came from. Angry at its inability to move, it senses it is powerless against the light it is caught in, the danger it is facing. It wants to escape, but is held by the light.

These are the five elements of fear—confusion, aversion, a sense of danger, a sense of weakness, and a desire to escape.

We react in much the way the deer does. Not knowing what to do, we are confused when confronted by that which we fear. We feel we are weak, perhaps unable to do what we sense to be the right thing. Or perhaps we have no idea what the right thing to do is. We are repelled by our helplessness and feel aversion for our own ability to move forward or to act wisely. Overwhelmed by the thought that we are in danger, our overpowering urge is to escape, but we cannot, for we are stuck.

What can we do?

Take a deep breath and examine our fear.

The deer acts on instinct. We, however, have the ability to analyze our fear to discover its cause. In doing so, we may realize our fear is based on a misperception. The cause of the fear was more imaginary than real. Realizing we overreacted can provide us with the opportunity to blink. Like a deer that can blink, we break the spell of our self-induced fear.

But what if the fear is real?

Through analysis and calming our minds, we can experience the equivalent of a mental “blink.” Remembering that is our own karmas that brought us to this point will help us grasp that what I broke, I alone have the potential to fix. With this comes the realization that our usual way of reacting often don’t work. Fear, confusion, aversion, and the desire to escape don’t improve a bad situation. We need to take a deep breath, calm down, and blink. We need to have a paradigm shift and be creative in looking for a new solution.

New ways of reacting do not come easily to us so we will need mindfulness and determination. And much practice. But as we get it right, fear will begin to recede and in its place, we’ll be able to blink more often.

According to a Reuters article published August 28, 2007, the United States is the most armed country with 90 guns per 100 people.

One cannot help but wonder why?

Perhaps it is fear. Fear of losing possessions. Fear of losing control. Fear of dying.

According to the US Bureau of Justice Statistics, at the end of 2006 more than 2.25 million persons were incarcerated in US prisons and jails. That means that for every 100,000 US residents, 751 were incarcerated. Again, that puts the US in the number one position.

Could this also be fear?

We experience fear because we see ourselves as individuals, separated from others. We experience fear because we believe we can hold on to what we have—possessions, ideas, people, and even youth.

When we are fearful, we build walls to protect ourselves by keeping others away. Apparently, we then defend our walls by buying guns and imprisoning people. In the Pure Land there are no guns or prisons because they are not needed. Everyone has whatever they wish.

Instead of building the walls of our fortress higher and buying more guns to defend it, we spent the money on helping others have what we enjoy—food, housing, education, medical care—we wouldn’t need all those guns and prisons.

A young tradesman came home and saw that his house had been robbed and burned by bandits. Right outside what was left of the house, there was a small, charred body. He thought the body belonged to his little boy. He did not know that his child was still alive. He did not know that after having burned the house, the bandits had taken the little boy away with them. In his state of confusion, the tradesman believed the body he saw was his son. So he cried, he beat his chest and pulled out his hair in grief. Then he began the cremation ceremony.

This man loved his little boy so much. His son was the raison d’etre of his life. He longed for his little boy so much that he could not abandon the little boy's ashes even for one moment. He made a velvet bag and put the ashes inside. He carried the bag with him day and night, and whether he was working or resting, he was never separated from the bag of ashes. One night his son escaped from the robbers. He came to the new house built by his father. He knocked excitedly on the door at two o'clock in the morning. His father called out as he wept, still holding the bag of ashes, "Who is there?"

"It's me, your son!" the boy answered through the door.

"You naughty person, you are not my boy. My child died three months ago. I have his ashes with me right here." The little boy continued to beat on the door and cried and cried. He begged over and over again to come in, but his father continued to refuse him entry. The man held firm to the notion that his little boy was already dead and that this other child was some heartless person who had come to torment him. Finally, the boy left and the father lost his son forever.

The Buddha said that if you get caught in one idea and consider it to be "the truth," then you miss the chance to know the truth. Even if the truth comes in person and knocks at your door, you will refuse to open your mind.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh, no death, no fear

Because we are only accepting of pleasure in our lives,

an immense amount of fear is created

as we spend our lives dodging pain.

~ Author Unknown 

He who receives kindness should never forget it,
but he who performs it should never remember it.

We should always be grateful for the kindness that others show towards us. Kindness can relieve our fears and worries, and lessen our suffering. Remembering the kindness of others, we will be more inclined to pass the kindness on because we know how much it meant to us.

But why should we not remember when we are kind to others?

Thinking of our kindness to others can result in our looking down on the person who needed our help. Feelings of superiority can arise as we mentally pat ourselves on the shoulder and the other on her head, like we would a child. There goes our regarding all beings equally.

As we dwell on our good actions, we tend to congratulate ourselves. Unaware of what is happening, we allow pride to creep in. And there goes our humility. The Buddha warned us of the four poisons of greed, anger, ignorance, and arrogance. Even a touch of pride is arrogance. So just as we need to guard against any rising of anger or craving, we need to also guard against pride.

With our act of kindness, we laid the foundation for the future enjoyment of some good fortune. Ideally, we will want to use our good fortune to continue helping others. But if we ourselves enjoy our good fortune, for example by feeling even a trace of pride, we reduce that good fortune. So it is much better to dwell on thoughts of the kindness of others and to let go of memories of our own kindness.