a buddhist perspective

Question: I work in the field.  Most often in bad areas where dogs are abandoned, hurting and abused.  Today I found one who's pelvis had been broken and her little leg.  There is no telling how long she'd been this way, how many people had passed her by.  I had to put her to sleep which has hurt me so much all day.

Please help me to understand why people do this.....why they would let this poor little dog suffer like this, living on the street unable to walk.  I carry each of these homeless and neglected animals with me and they stay in my head burdening my heart and mind with horrible sorrow.  I cannot let them go.

Response:  It is terrible how people can be cruel to animals or simply uncaring when they suffer. What you did for that poor dog was truly compassionate, wanting to alleviate the suffering of others, even though it caused your own suffering.

You asked how this can happen. Obviously there are people whose thinking is so disturbed that they need to hurt others. Then there are those who, unlike you, do not have the courage to become involved. Or perhaps who feel that they do not have the time. I imagine there are many different reasons, but they come down to people being in too much pain themselves to be able to take on the suffering of others. And so they inflict pain or block it out.

You do not block the animals suffering and thus you take on their suffering. But once you have helped, you need to let go or it will haunt you and, as you said, stay with you. May I suggest trying a small ceremony. Light a candle or incense and say something meaningful as a wish for the animals happiness. A Pure Land Buddhist, for example, could chant "Amituofo."

Then speak to the animal, saying it is time to move on to the next birth and that your wishes are for it to have a better next life. Than, knowing that you have helped the animal physically and spiritually, you may be better able to "let go."

Question: I am deeply sorrowed and devastated by the Death of my Mother. I chanted "Namo Amitabha Buddha" hundreds of times repeatedly twice a day for almost 49 days since my beloved Mother died on Jan. 1, 2008 and I "asked" the Amitabha Buddha to witness/certify that I was transferring merits to my Mother and that with His Great Compassion He would help deliver my Mother to His Pure Land. I tried to connect my thought with my Mother and talked with her as though she was still alive to remind her of her good deeds and her "connection/involvement" with Buddhism when she was alive. I asked my Mother to think of Amitabha Buddha and chant His name and ask to be delivered to the Pure Land.

My burning question is to know where Mother is now. I need confirmation. Please, please help. Will she contact me...? How can I get in touch with her? I am like a lost bleeding soul wandering about life now that my Mother is gone. I missed Her so, so, so, so much. I want my Mother back. I deeply regret that I didn't do enough to help around when she was alive. Where is my Mother now? Please, please reply.

Thank you so much for your time.

Response: I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. So often when people write to me, I reply as best I can but explain that I am unable to truly feel what they are experiencing. But in responding to you, I can honestly say that I do understand how you feel. And that I am truly sorry for your loss and your suffering.

My mother died October 8, 2006. I too chanted for forty-nine days and tried to form a connection with her, to talk with her as if she was still with me and to encourage her to go to the Pure Land.

Like you, my burning thought was “Where is she now?” The thought that she might be suffering, the not knowing where she was caused me much pain. I too missed my mother, and still miss her, so very much. I too regretted that I didn’t do all that I could. I also regretted that I was not as patient as I should have been and that I was not a better daughter. So Peter, I do know your suffering.

That said, I do not have the ability to know where my mother—or your mother—is. I do not know whether your mother will contact you. But I do know we need to let our mother’s move on to their next life, whether it is in the Pure Land or again within samsara. Our grief is our own, we do not want it to pull our mothers back to us for that would cause them further suffering. Knowing we did not do as much as we could when they were alive, we need to try to do as much as we can now.

Please know that it may not be ours to know where our mothers now are. Also know that the suffering from your loss will ease. That sounds trite but it is true. I speak from experience. When my mother died, I wrote some entries here in the blog in the hope they would help others just a little bit. A few of them are here, here, and here. The rest are under the categories death and grief.
 

A young tradesman came home and saw that his house had been robbed and burned by bandits. Right outside what was left of the house, there was a small, charred body. He thought the body belonged to his little boy. He did not know that his child was still alive. He did not know that after having burned the house, the bandits had taken the little boy away with them. In his state of confusion, the tradesman believed the body he saw was his son. So he cried, he beat his chest and pulled out his hair in grief. Then he began the cremation ceremony.

This man loved his little boy so much. His son was the raison d’etre of his life. He longed for his little boy so much that he could not abandon the little boy's ashes even for one moment. He made a velvet bag and put the ashes inside. He carried the bag with him day and night, and whether he was working or resting, he was never separated from the bag of ashes. One night his son escaped from the robbers. He came to the new house built by his father. He knocked excitedly on the door at two o'clock in the morning. His father called out as he wept, still holding the bag of ashes, "Who is there?"

"It's me, your son!" the boy answered through the door.

"You naughty person, you are not my boy. My child died three months ago. I have his ashes with me right here." The little boy continued to beat on the door and cried and cried. He begged over and over again to come in, but his father continued to refuse him entry. The man held firm to the notion that his little boy was already dead and that this other child was some heartless person who had come to torment him. Finally, the boy left and the father lost his son forever.

The Buddha said that if you get caught in one idea and consider it to be "the truth," then you miss the chance to know the truth. Even if the truth comes in person and knocks at your door, you will refuse to open your mind.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh, no death, no fear

At the moment of death, there are two things that count: whatever we have done in our lives, and what state of mind we are in at that very moment. Even if we have accumulated a lot of negative karma, if we are able to make a real change of heart at the moment of death, it can decisively influence our future, and transform our karma, for the moment of death is an exceptionally powerful opportunity to purify karma.

~ Sogyal Rinpoche

Question: When someone is dying, is it important to show the person an image of Amitabha Buddha? Where can I get one?

Response: If the person was a Pure Land Buddhist, it is extremely important to have a picture or statue of Amitabha Buddha for them to see and focus on. Normally, the image never goes at the foot of the bed, but when a person is dying it needs to be placed or hung so the practitioner can easily see it. So at the foot of the bed is permissible at this time.

If the person does not have any religious beliefs, but in their final days they learn of the Pure Land teachings and wish to be reborn there, an image can be obtained from a Pure Land practice center. If there is no center close by, an image can be obtained from the Amitabha Buddhist Society of USA or the Amitabha Buddhist Library in Chicago. Also, you might find a society closer to you by checking on the list at Amitbaha Pureland.

But we need to remember that it is exceptionally rare for a person who never knew or practiced the teachings to do so in their final days. For this to happen, they need extraordinarily good roots, causes and conditions. So, it would be wise to take an opportunity to speak with a person when they were still well and not wait till their last moments.

If the person had other beliefs, we need to respect them. This is not the time to try to "convert" someone. Encourage them to go to heaven if that is their wish. Remind them of all the good things they have done in their lives and do what you can to help them die peacefully.